Twisted,cruel and confused.

Love ME?, Go GET CRABS!

2012-02-12T13:21:00.000-08:00

Women, aren’t they lovely? Well yes but mind fucks galore, not intentional by any stretch of the imagination but it seems inherently built in for women to be difficult. Don’t get me wrong I wouldn’t have it any other way, what would life be without some effort out in to awaken the senses?

I have spent the entirety of the last 111 years surrounded by women, living with them, cohabitating I even helped create one of the genus for fuck sake (she’s my favourite) and after all this exposure to them, after all the hours spent listening to them explain their actions or, more often, defend their actions. I am no closer to having a fucking clue what any of them are up to.

Now that I’ve got that out my system I can begin the point in tonight’s shorter but no less potent opinion drivelling anarchism/ narcissism.

I love me by the way, like completely. Absolutely adore me as a human being. I have great musical taste, I read books you fuckers should be reading and I smell lovely. I do I can’t help it I have started to once again smell naturally of red Diesel and it is fucking marvellous. Now do I think I’m an attractive man, fuck no! Do I think I have particularly inviting personality, FUCK OFF! So obviously no I hate other people as a rule of thumb from the offset. Some folks can change my mind others just remain in the “I fucking hope you get crabs” list.

I don’t try and endear myself to people, I can’t. I am a socially dysfunctional, immoral sexual deviant ready to pounce at the drop of a hat; or the very least a cup of tea and a biscuit. I dislike every fucking the mainstream loves. I hate it even more when the mainstream starts to pretend it loves what I love. You don’t you only like it, because it’s cool.

That isn’t to say I don’t like subverting mainstream minds to weird and wonderful visions of Leary and inc, removing the programmed cataracts is a fucking pleasure for me, just because I hate your face doesn’t mean I want you to be uneducated.

Does that sound big headed? Of course it fucking does!

Is that a bad thing? I don’t think so. I go through it all the time, constantly surrounding myself with people and books written by people ten times and beyond smarter than me. How else does one gain any semblance of knowledge without expanding horizons? I’ve went from reading A brief history of time to the satanic Bible in a weekend to reading a Superman comic on my rest day.

All of this leads to my reasoning of why I love myself. After reading this, a lot of people would resort to calling me an self-obsessed, misanthropic arsehole. Their right but I don’t know how else to be so fuck off and take your Chinos with you. CUNTS!

My point is, be kind to yourself, love yourself, without being IN LOVE with yourself. Enjoy life, enjoy the things you are good at. Revel in just how fucking awesome you are at Scrabble if that’s your thing. Who gives a fuck if they don’t like you? Fuck them they have CRABS!

Wake up, there's crack on the stove!

2012-02-11T14:48:00.000-08:00

I have often wondered how much better everyday life would be if television hosts were on acid, or at the very least a derivative. Can you imagine mid 90’s big breakfast or fuck Diggit ifyou knew that the presenters were absolutely out of their minds on hallucinogens (that being said that wanker from the Big Breakfast was fond of coke) SHUT THE FUCK UP RANDOM ASIDE!

But seriously it be immense, I know it’s a weird stance from someone so overtly against intoxicating himself as I am, but that’s more of a decision based on past experiences of myself on some pretty fucked up stimulants; alcohol primarily and occasionally mixture of coffee and alcohol.

Some of the best times of my recent sober years, have involved observing the strange, delusional and on occasion down right abhorrent behaviour of those on both prescription and non-taxed drugs. Remarkable feats of daring do wherein a half cut 30 something declares his driving skills improved by Jack Daniels followed by his subsequent and infinitely repeated dropping of his keys in a puddle. That’s some funny shit people.

To bring it back to TV here, keep myself focused on my objective, the best times of watching shit television where when we thought…nay……knew… that the presenters were out of their gourd to some degree. Case in point Eurovision song contest, that shit is nigh unwatchable, seriously it’s ridiculous how fucked that shit is. How can the amalgamation of European art and style clash so. How do the French with their excellent taste allow the rest of REAL Europe to purvey the region as backwards, 1970’s , sequence wearing, jock strap loosening, mind numbing campiness on a grand fucking scale.

It’s horrendous yet I watched it every year, religiously, Why? I watched it because Terry Wogan commentated and theirs is no one in the world who can convince me that he wasn’t utterly stoned when he did. Mumbling, unflinchingly rude and proud of it, is Terry’s trademark style but on Eurovision his trademark cheekiness was undercut with a deep rumbling aura of being distracted. Like the dog in UP who spots the squirrel or more appropriately the stoner who realises he is on television and quickly stops over analysing the weird performances involving, dishwasher people and linen swirls from the Ukraine, and instead points it how remarkably shite it all really is.

The BBC fucked this up and added Graeme Norton, and ruined it all for me. I like Norton when he’s situated next to the straight laced actors and musicians eh interviews, in that arena he is a funny bastard. In Eurovision its painfully obvious he hates the shit as much as I know I do, but he does it sober and that’s just losing half the fun.

Possible shows made better by drugs.

Total Wipeout + Amphetamines= a great anarchic show gets better as the contestant get through the course in 0.007 seconds whilst their genetalia escapes through their insides and out their mouths.

Question Time + Cannabis =Maybe the politicians might stop spouting their usual prepared rhetoric and actually be honest and open with the viewing and voting public.

And finally my absolute must have recommendation

Newsnight + Heroin= Just in the off chance that Paxman might have an overdose and leave me the fuck alone. You had Katie price on as an expert the other night, Hand over your press badger NOW!

Weird world

2012-02-10T14:53:00.001-08:00

The love the way I make coffee, instant and quick, spiralling around while it mixes with the water, swirling, black and sweet, the milk splashes in and though it appears the dark torrent has been quelled this is not the case, the light has merely changed our perception, the milk propels it forward like an idea propels a view, propels a stance, propels a movement, propels a revolution.

There’s no revolutionary stance here just an idea, an absurd on at best, I have always felt I was an absurdist, even when I didn’t have a word for it, “you’re weird” was often a word thrown my way, though in my early years that was an insult it has steadily become a compliment; especially when said statement is followed by the girl who said it’s grasp on my hand tightening.

There’s a reason absurdist views or the view of the world as absurd, is not particularly absurd in practice, we live on a sphere falling through space, spiralling around other spheres, all of which internally and externally have a penchant for natural destruction. Think about it for a second, look at the sun for more than a few seconds, and your eyes will water. This world of ours is prone to natural disasters every other day. We also cause our own problems but these cannot be looked at as natural by any stretch of the imagination.

As a student of media my day is spent, observing the things we create to distract ourselves from the real world. Dissecting work of others to the core of the ideas and explaining how I think this corresponds to the world at large, I spent my day yesterday thinking about Freud, avoiding thinking LIKE Freud as that is not healthy. I love what I do, I love looking at films I love and hate and tearing them down to bare essentials.

My thoughts have slowly become entrenched in film, entrenched in how film works. The music in my ears on my morning travels is my soundtrack, whether its Nine Inch nails or Creedence Clearwater revival, my day is my day. My mind? A wandering cavalcade of surrealism conjured up from seemingly innocuous statements. The other day I found myself discussing with a lovely woman, the idea that without our eccentricities we wouldn’t be nearly as interesting; meaning the human race.

My mind at this point painted a picture of the day we discover a truly ordinary person, in my mind’s eye he looked like the blank face you see every day on public transport, unblinking, moustached and wearing denim like it was fucking mandatory. He would be named Bill and that would be the end of it all. No more films, no more joyous sex, no more illusions of life to keep us distracted; basically we’d all be bored out our minds.

My point is, that, to not look at the world with an absurdist view, is tantamount to slavery. Without the voice of madness in our heads to kick the shit out of reason every few minutes, we’d be Orwellian, unthinking sheep. Our idea of reasoning is merely, in my view, a tool of control. To sit and reason through everything, does not allow for random acts of joy. Why can’t I fantasise my acceptance speech for screenwriting? Who the fuck am I hurting?

I ask this with a serious thought in mind, there is a difference in having a thought process that allows for the weird, being open to the idea that maybe we are all just constructs in some weirdo’s daydream, shouldn’t frighten anyone. We should be fucking relieved, relieved that in a world were those of us with the least intelligence and worryingly senile attitudes to the populous (that’s us) are in control of everything, they decide what you watch, where you can sleep, where you buy your clothes. Have you seen how malls are designed? Douglass Rushkoff makes a wonderful observation about the monetary system in his book “Life inc” that I could only dream of paraphrasing here. Our entire money system, the idea of money is invented. It is only worth as much as what the proverbial “They” say it is. If we remove “them” it’s worth nothing.

In a world were governments are the playground bully, what hope does existentialism have really? Forever decried as crackpots and loons when we notice connections between seedy situations and high authority figures. Did JFK’s magic bullet really act in the manner they say it did? Of course not but when your bombarded with a lie so often and with such force you accept it as fact. Familiarity does not breed contempt in the media it creates a truth as false as the idea that “freedoms” are a commodity to be bought and sold depending on what makes the people in control look bad, dumb or usually both.

Here’s something for you out there right wingers thinking, oh here’s goes another liberal spouting hate against authority et. Barack Obama is a cock, a massive degenerate lying assbag of a human being. When Bush or fuck Blair endorsed ideas that removed the rights of people I would accept it as right wing lunacy. When a Man who ran on leftist views does it I worry. Nick Clegg is the modern young voters closest Obama figure in the U.K a man who ran on principle, like so many who was corrupted by power.

Power of the office does not corrupt, it is the media contacts within the inner workings of politics that corrupts, wheeler dealer lobbyists, with their rhetoric and money sacks filled with bile and spewing filth of their respective interests. When these people masturbate it’s over their paychecks, their very orgasmic fluid spews naught but tarlike hatred covering all our lives in crap.

In the end none of this matters, the last 900 odd words won’t change anything, we’ll continue to be wandering sheep forever more amongst the machinations of lesser men in higher office, lording over us spite worthy of God himself. The only way to get away from this mindlessness is to look outside the box of ignorance they have put up around you.

Don’t necessarily do as I do and laugh at the absurd world, find something that is yours, truly yours. Even if it’s just walking and thinking. They haven’t installed thought police yet as far as I’m aware and they never will if we give these people lots of weird shit to get through. One thing these cunts hate is doing any actual work.

Hello, it has been a while

2011-09-27T03:13:00.000-07:00

Lo' and behold I return like an avenging Pirate seeking retribution for stolen treasure mind; a good pirate mind, like Blackbeard as opposed to Smee.

I dropped off after posting the ridiculously long DC pre-relaunch extravaganza, to be honest the whole affair made any sight of blogger's dashboard incite vomit induced narcosis and a god complex began to form wherein I was convinced that a tiny universe lived in my shoes.

Anyway, return I do and with it I bring the news that I was kind of right in regards to my opinions shared on the whole DC relaunch, some of the books I thought would be good were (Detective Comics) and those I expected to hate turned out awesome (Red Hood and the outlaws). Quite frankly i am not going to review every frigging book, go out and buy the fucking things and decide yourself.

I am however going to ramble a bit about a strange occurrence of late, fanboyism creeping into journalism.

Now I am in no way a journalist, I cant shorthand and am prone to biased leaning when it comes to certain topics, but a recent article on suspected journalistic website IGN has led to heated debate on the articles message board . please copy below link into your browser and see for yourself.

http://uk.xbox360.ign.com/articles/119/1196353p1.html

Now I am not going to point out the obvious idiotic statements inside this article (well I call bullshit on the epic scale of Skyrim failing to Dark Souls) I will however call shenanigans on the obvious attempt to start a fanboy war.

IGN moderators have insisted for years that they do not want fanboy wars clogging up their servers, but I say they be talking shite. Look at the numerous videos comparing 360 and PS3 graphics, or the utter fanboyism of the Dark Souls versus Skyrim article.

Now does Dark Souls look like a great game? Yes it does, the original Demon Souls was fucking insane, but is it likely to sell more than Skyrim.....fuck no.

oh an FYI Casey Lynch of IGN, Skyrims Dragons have a random every changing AI system, Dark Souls dragons will do the same old shit over and over again. That and I'd rather pay £50 for 300 hours of gaming than £50 for 8 hours of actual gaming accompanied by 300 hours of dying.

Comics : Where to buy them

2011-06-29T09:22:00.000-07:00

For those of you who powered through my DC Relaunch analysis the past week I thank you, over 500 hits in a week ain't to shabby for an unknown blogger so I thank you.

I realise that looking over the extensive list, the wallet strings may begin to tighten at the obvious expense of comic books now, compared with the 60p you used to pay as a kid. I am here to offer up examples of some of the Best places to buy ones comic haul, with recommendations regarding your current financial situation: Hurrah!

This list is not in order of what is best or my favourite, I'm working off of scribbled notes here people.

Local Comic Store

The lifeblood of the comic book industry is your LCS (local comic book store), these guys/gals are up early hours arranging shelves of heavy ass comics and trades for your perusal. Most comic store people are friendly so don't let old stereotypes such as The Comic Book Guy from The Simpsons worry you; these guys do exist but not in abundance.

You want information on new books, or you've just re watched The Dark Knight for the millionth time and want to get some more Batgoodness to do you over tile Arkham City then expect most stores offer a kind of personal shopper experience in assisting you in your shopping spree.

Bare in mind buying comics at your LCS means you'll pay cover price, or if your from the UK adjusted cover price ($3:99 comic = £3.00 usually) so this method of purchase can be expensive, for those not buying every comic under the sun though, LCS is the way to go.

Home Delivery Service
My own personal preference here, as a full time father during the summer months, I can't go to my Local shop every week for new issues, and as such run the risk of my favourite Morrison or Bendis comic being sold out. Home delivery to the rescue.

Please do not mistake online only retailers as a home delivery service, for the sake of this article the HDS comic stores also operate a brick and mortar comic store and as such buying from them does not hurt the industry.

Stores like Discount comic book services ( US readers) and 86th Floor comics (for UK readers) both offer a service that puts the comic industries catalogue "Previews" online in an easy to complete order form. The sign up process for these if openly flexible with different options for payment and your package of comics arrives at the end of each month. (Septembers DC titles would arrive in or around 6Th October.

It is worth noting that the previews catalogue order forms are done a few months in advance so the catalogue for Septembers title is online now. By orderign in advance you are able to recieve a sizaeable discount on your comics fo upto 25%. When your buyign lots of boosk this is extremely helpful.

www.86thfloor.com >> UK http://www.dcbservice.com/ >>US

If you sign up to either be sure to let them know Brendan Doig sent you :)

EBAY
E-bay is worth looking at if you want back issue comics at reasonable prices, new comics often have inflated delivery prices attached and as such its not worth the money. Some brick an mortar stores operate an E-bay presence such as A1 comic in Glasgow; do a little research on the web front before making your purchase.

When in doubt message me here. Always happy to assist.

Online Stores

Comic domain is one such online comic front, operating a hugely integrated and accessible website for comic perusal, if you know what character you're interested in then their impressive genre and 'family' tabs for browsing are very well set out.

With an online only store you will not have access to the full Previews magazine and as such could potentially miss a comic, toy or etc that you would have otherwise purchased. Always be careful and even look for a scanned copy of Previews online.....not that I'm condoning piracy as I buy my copy of previews every month.

OK well that's the biggies, there are other options out there but these ones are arguably the best options money wise and expediency wise so enjoy your shopping and if you need any advice or have any questions message me here.

I bet you're glad this one wasn't 12,000 words.

DCU Relaunch Part 5: Teen Angst and a Legion that survived a reboot!

2011-06-27T04:06:00.000-07:00

Here we go the final books of the DCU relaunch, this has been a long haul with over 12,000 words throughout; hope you enjoyed it.

TEEN TITANS #1 Written by SCOTT LOBDELL Art by BRETT BOOTH

“When’s there’s trouble you know who to call (TEEN TITANS) yeah albeit the Young Justice titans with two unknown entities. The Teen Titans at one point were DC’s premiere team with the number one book, the past couple of years, since Geoff Johns left, have been forgettable at best.

So with this new creative team and what looks like a completely revised team, the familiar characters appear revised in costume and possibly origin. The team itself consists of Red Robin (Tim Drake), Superboy (Connor Kent), Wondergirl (Cassie Sandsmark) and two unknown characters one who kind of looks like a bug and another that appears to have smoke/fire based powers.

The Teen Titans, as the name suggests, is a Teen centric book so expect angst and real Teenage problems to run parallel to the superhero shenanigans. Scott Lobdell has promised as much and with his use of his revised Superboy in this we could be looking at a crossover or two story wise.

Brett Booth isn’t a bad artist, in that his storytelling and composition is always top notch, the issues arise in his character models. Some of them look distinctly like supermodels. Superboy on the cover image looks like he’s just stepped out of a Topman catalogue.

On the subject of that cover (see above left) how did Superboy, a boy with indestructible skin get a tattoo, Kryptonite laced needle perhaps. The Red Robin costume looks pretty cool I must say with actual robin like wings in effect over his weird Dr Midnight style costume of late.

Reasons to buy: The teen titans if written well are a fun team to get invested in. Interconnectivity between this and Superboy title could be fun.

Worries: Brett Booths supermodels in tights.

STATIC SHOCK #1 Written by SCOTT McDANIEL and JOHN ROZUM Art by SCOTT McDANIEL

Virgil Hawkins rocking his new ongoing series, that’s right the Static Shock that all new readers will recognise from his titular series that aired on Cartoon Network, back in the day. The only change here is the locale, no longer Dakota now the overused New York.

New York should suit Statics electricity based powers to a tee, think Cole from infamous but less violent, African American and more hair. Virgil Hawkins is your everyday teenager with his own problems to deal with alongside scary ass villains.

This series comes shortly after the passing of Static’s creator Dwayne McDuffie which in itself makes me long for his take on his character and the worry that the only reason DC are putting this out is because of the timing.

I am familiar with Scott McDaniel’s art and his recent work on Batman and Robin has been pretty impressive so it will be nice to see his take on Static and his supporting characters. The only worry I have is McDaniels untested writing capability, this worry is counteracting however by John Rozum’s involvement.

Rozum as a former writer for Milestone Comics, Static’s original home before being introduced into the DCU, will in my opinion keep the ship in line and keep Static true to his character originally devised by McDuffie.

Reasons to buy: Static in the DCU outside the animated universe has been all but invisible. It will be fun to see him interact with DC villains as well as his own. Rozum Milestone alumni on board.

Worries: Will Statics villains also move to NYC with him or will they be abandoned?

HAWK AND DOVE #1 Written by STERLING GATES Art by ROB LIEFELD

I’ll be honest this upset me, I love Hawk and Dove as they appeared in the Brightest Day maxi series and as the avatars of War and Peace (Hawk= war Dove=Peace) they offer up a unique relationship as characters, polar opposites who are friends. I truly believe that Sterling Gates could write these characters into the A List of DC’s range; one problem Rob Liefield.

Rob Liefield embodies everything that was wrong with a lot of 90s comic art, overly moussed hair, ridiculous body shapes, impractically large guns and don’t forget the pouches millions of pouches. Liefield is derided amongst many comic fans; some have even created entire websites dedicated to showing how inept the man can be.

His inability to draw feet or his fascination with giving female character inconceivably large breasts and a tiny waist leaves me wondering what the hell DC are thinking? Yes Rob Liefield has worked on the character before, and I own those issues. I can tell you that the story is fun, the art sucks.

When you consider that there are other artists who have drawn these characters with such expert detail, such as their co-creator Steve Ditko, it is unfair on Hawk and Dove fans to have to pay full price for a book with mediocre art at best.

Reasons to buy: If you can just read the word balloons Sterling Gates is a great writer, his work on Supergirl was spectacular.

Worries: Less of a worry more of a colossal fuck up Rob Liefield’s art.

BLUE BEETLE #1 Written by TONY BEDARD Art by IG GUARA

Jaime Reyes the third Blue Beetle will be familiar to fans of both Smallville and Batman: brave and the bold, Blue Beetle derives his powers from the Scarab beetle on his back, an alien device that bestows upon the user a Beetleborg like armour complete with weaponry and flight.

Jaime’s family and friend shave been present throughout his appearances and as such I expect the same will occur here. As a junior hero he should be presented with a few flaws that he has to work through as penned by the great Tony Bedard.

With Bedard on this book expect sci-fi elements to appear and possibly interstellar travel, as I have said before Bedard is an excellent sci-fi writer in comics with some exceptional sci-fi based DC books in the past few years such as R.E.B.E.L.S and Green Lantern Corps.

Ig Guara brings a nice range of style to this book with a great storytelling ability coupled with some kick ass pencils his work with Hulkpool a while back was gorgeous to look at even when the story was awful. SO put him together with a great writer and expect some fun results. His work on the Gorilla Grodd one-shot was nothing short of spectacular.

Reasons to buy: Art and story will be great with Bedard and Guara

Worries: relatively unknown character with sci-fi based power set. Could lead non sci-fi fans to avoid the comic

LEGION OF SUPER-HEROES #1 Written by PAUL LEVITZ Art by FRANCIS PORTELA

The super powered team from the future, inspired by the heroic deeds of Superman who they in turn inspired via a very fun time paradox, It the Legion of Superheroes. With a cast of over 50 heroes, the Legion comics are often met with much trepidation; do not worry.

All Legionnaires are clearly labelled every time they appear with a nifty little box that details their codename, real name and power set. A technique that helps even the longest Legion reader knows who everyone on any given page.

The Legion tend to face intergalactic and temporal destroying enemies with the stakes always at a high, but were the Legions writer Levitz excels is making you care about the lives of the Legion members; Intergalactic soap opera at times, albeit a soap opera with good dialogue.

This is the continuation of Paul Levitz long relationship with the Legion of superheroes, having written the characters twice before to both critical and commercial acclaim. Levitz is the writer t whom LOSH fans point for the best stories.

The art chores on a Legion book are no easy task, with potentially hundreds of character on page at any given time the book requires an artist with tenacity and a dedicated approach to work. It also helps if the artist is capable of high level work all round; enter Francis Portela.

With previous experience drawing the Legion to a high standard with serious gusto and style, he finally takes over this book completely and I for one can’t wait for the results.

Reasons to buy: legion with Paul Levitz is worth the entry price, Portela’s kick ass art.

Worries: a huge cast of characters could overwhelm new readers

LEGION LOST #1 Written by FABIAN NICIEZA Art by PETE WOODS

If you fancy dipping into the Legion without the massive character ensemble then this is the book for you. Featuring a select few legionnaires (seven to be exact) then this is the book for you, In fact this book features some of my favourite legionnaires all of whom rock different powers and different backgrounds. The joy of the LOSH is that it’s an all inclusive society with different species from many planets coming together to fight for truth justice and all that stuff.

Fabian Nicieza comes of his stellar run on Red Robin to brings his talent to the members of the Legion Lost, Fabian has a great grasp of character, he effectively creates characters with a unique voice. A talent not lost on me, as a lot of big name writers write characters all with the same voice; which can become annoying.

Pete Woods is coming off an exceptional run on the Superman titles, the man is exceptional at what he does going above and beyond the call of duty. During his run on World of New Krypton, Woods created a scale 3D model on his computer that showed every street and building in the New krypton world; that’s dedication.

His work on the Lex Luthor Action Comics story was spectacular and arguably a defining moment for the man’s career, I look forward to seeing his work on this book.

Reasons to buy: Pete Woods stellar artwork, Fabian’s kick ass writing, condensed Legion experience.

Worries: None other than new readers aversion to super heroes.

DCU Relaunch Episode 4: A Wildstorm rushes through the DCU bringing War, Cowboys and Harley in a slutty outfit

2011-06-24T14:17:00.000-07:00

It’s a good thing I didn’t have to give subtitles to the Star Wars Movies can you imagine? Episode1: The boring political plotline meshes with a racist Amphibian, I digress here’s the fourth DC Relaunch analysis.

STORMWATCH #1 Written by PAUL CORNELL Art by MIGUEL SEPULVEDA

Yay another Paul Cornell book, I kind of wish he was on a Superman title but beggars can’t be choosers. Stormwatch features characters previously found in the seminal series The Authority and before that the original Stormwatch series that ran in both the DC Wildstorm imprint and before Jim lee jumped ship from Image comics at Image itself.

This version of the team will feature Jack Hawksmoor, Apollo, Midnighter, and (My personal favourite) the Martian Manhunter. The inclusion of J’onn Jonzz aka Martian manhunter steeps this first title of the former Wildstorm universe deep in the DCU.

J’onn had been suspiciously absent from the justice League in favour of former teen titan Cyborg, an absence that troubled many readers, so it’s great to see him in this book.

Diversity will be very clear in this one folks, as the super powered males Apollo and Midnighter (originally pastiches for Supes and Bats) are a married couple, Cornell has confirmed in a recent interview that this status quo will not change with the duo’s merging with The DCU, a move I applaud given the lack of gay characters in comics, where being gay is just PART of their character not the ENTIRE point in their character.

I don’t have much experience with Sepulveda’s work but what I have seen from him came in the oft overblown "Superman renounces his citizenship" story found within Action Comics 900 (it was a back up story FOX news not in continuity) and his work there look very realistic in terms of shading with a classic look with some very neat texture choices that could fit this book very well.

Reasons to buy: Great team book, Easy to access, Martian Manhunter, Creative Team

Worries: Stormwatch are not the most well known team outside the comic reading world. Apollo and Midnighter might piss you off if you’re a right wing or religious fellow; if they do your wrong by the way.

VOODOO #1 Written by RON MARZ Art by SAMI BASRI

The solicit for this asks “Who is Vodoo?” a very apt question as I don’t really know, I have never read a Vodoo comic in my life but I have read a Ron Marz comic before and if he brings his A game like he did with Green Lantern years ago then this could be an interesting read.

I’m personally picking this up blind based on the creative team and the solicit text implying that we will get to see teh New DCU through her eyes albeit as an untrustworthy narrator given that she apparently see’s stuff that isn’t there. I’m a sucker for stuff I’m not familiar with as I don’t have any real expectations and am often pleasantly surprised as opposed to disappointed.

Marz writing alone is worth looking at this but the art of Sami Basri That I have seen on his Witchblade work (again with Marz writing) is pretty awesome, realistic artwork yet still definitively comic book coupled with a great talent for emotion; there’s one panel of Witchblade with an annoyed baby and the facial expression is priceless.

http://www.comicvine.com/news/previewreview-for-witchblade-113/131962/ ( 1^st image)

Reasons to buy: Great creative team on a arguably blank slate character as she stands in the DCU. New reader friendly.

Worries: Obscure character, older readers might have expectations.

GRIFTER #1 Written by NATHAN EDMONDSON Art by CAFU

Grifter features Cole Cash, DC’s most wanted man who has been pegged as a serial killer as he attempts to destroy vicious monsters who have taken to hiding in human form creatures only he can see.

Not a bad concept for a first story arc, taking Cole Cash who is a very charming character and placing him in a fugitive style role is different and could possibly become stale if not properly planned out by the writer Nathan Edmondson.

Edmondson’s last work “The Light” was very well written and his character work was exceptional so I hope he brings the same sense of development to this.

CAFU is no slouch in the art department, with several high profile successful works in the past year including Thunder agents with Nick Spencer, which I consider to be some of his best Superhero comics. Excellent grasp of composition and his story telling ability is great. Sometimes if he rushes it can appear a bit sloppy but when fully focused he excels.

Reasons to buy: Interesting creative team here, easy to understand story arc, well presented premise.

Worries: niche character, story arc easy to go stale, CAFU if he rushes.

DEATHSTROKE #1 Written by KYLE HIGGINS Art by JOE BENNETT

The Teen Titans greatest adversary gets his own solo title from Nightwing writer Kyle Higgins, a fact that opens up the possibility of a cross over between these two books down the line; Dick Grayson against Deathstroke again would be worth every penny. Deathstroke featured prominently in the Teen titans cartoon series, although he was simply named Slade during that series thanks to overcautious censors.

Deathstroke is a dangerous assassin, with advanced sense and expert training that make him almost impossible to take down, he has bested several JLA members at once irrespective of having no superpowers as such (see Identity Crisis) and as such is considered a formidable enemy. His rivalry of the Teen Titans famously culminated in a brutal story “Judas Contract” that demands your attention.

Higgins is co writing the Gates of Gotham mini series at the moment, and it remains to be seen how much of that flair and professionalism is his and how much is Scott Snyder’s, as a young writer (25 years old) in comparison to other comic writers he could bring a fresh approach to Deathstroke who is in need of some well placed exposure.

Brazilian Joe Bennett is currently drawing Deathstroke over in the alternate reality of Flashpoint and he is killing that book, it just looks phenomenal, he seems to have real command of scenery and emotions hold no worries for this man.

He has also worked on other projects for DC such as the weekly Juggernaut that was 52 and the bi-weekly Justice League Generation Lost which should give you the indication that this book certainly won’t ship late.

Reasons to buy: everyone loves a villain and Deathstroke is a brutal bastard, Great art.

Worries: Kyle Higgins inexperience is only a marginal worry but a worry none the less.

SUICIDE SQUAD #1 Written by ADAM GLASS Art by MARCO RUDY

Sentenced to death or life imprisonment? Do you feel the need to exert your homicidal tendencies in exchange for a shorter sentence? Then the Suicide Squad is for you.

The new Suicide Squad will feature mainstay Deadshot an expert sharpshooter and misogynist, Kingshark a Humanoid shark that bears more than a passing resemblance to the “Street Sharks” of my childhood (albeit decidedly more violent) and last but certainly not least the DC Animated universe’s most successful character Harley Quinn sporting the smuttiest outfit known to man.

The three find themselves captured during a top secret mission; the question is who will be the first to crack?

Adam Glass brings his extensive TV background to comics once again with this one, best known for his work on “Supernatural” Glass has had some interesting comics come out such as Luke Cage Noir and Deadpool pulp, both decidedly street level comics so his work on this largely street idea should be interesting.

Marco Rudy at times excels an inner Steranko, especially in his recent “The Shield” work which is never a bad thing; it’ll be interesting to see which style he utilises here. The cover makes me wish that said cover artist Ryan Benjamin was doing the interiors.

Reasons to buy: Villain led book, interesting creative team, Harley Quinn.

Worries: this book has a long history of being good both in its initial inception and its life as “The Secret Six” a lot to live up with. Harleys outfit does not look practical for a secret agent......bit Bond girl rather than Bond.

O.M.A.C. #1 Written by DAN DIDIO and KEITH GIFFEN Art by KEITH GIFFEN

The co-publisher Dan Didio and bwa ha ha Justice League Europe master Keith Giffen bring you OMAC, Batman’s proper mental Brother Eye satellite has unleashed a new beast upon the DC Universe in this possible train wreck of a series.

Kevin Kho has become an unwilling participant in a war between Checkmate and Brother Eye as he is transformed into the One Machine Army Corp known only as O.M.A.C.! OMAC is Jack Kirby’s least known character and that’s partially because his Mohawk hairstyle is ridiculous.

The previous OMAC, as in a singular heroic-ish figure, not the vicious legions of OMAC villains in the past few years, was Buddy Blank who has since retired so this new OMAC is an unknown quality, his new design sports a bleu skinned smurflike quality with hulking muscles and the same crappy haircut.

I love OMAC, the Jack Kirby OMAC that is, I trust Keith Giffen to write a good book but Dan Didio is not a good writer. It’s the age old problem of those in charge just writing whatever they like and it never getting cancelled because they are charge. Didio’s Outsiders run was unpleasant enough I don’t need him stinking up my Jack Kirby Universe.

Giffen is a more than capable artist and if I’m lucky he’ll take over full writing duties on this so I can actually enjoy this comic.

Reasons to buy: Keith Giffen is a really good writer and artist. Jack Kirby character demands your attention.

Worries: Dan Didio has yet to prove he can capably write an interesting story.

BLACKHAWKS #1 Written by MIKE COSTA Art by KEN LASHLEY

The first war book features an updated Blackhawks team for the 21^st century. The original Blackhawks were a WWII air fighter team to which this new team shares only a name and logo. The new team seem to look like a cross between SHIELD and GI Joe; their mission to kill the bad guys before they kill us!

Brought to the DCU by Transformers ongoing writer Mike Costa makes me fairly optimistic for this book as his work on that ongoing and the GI Joe ongoing have been pretty good reads in of themselves and this seems to be firmly situated in his sandbox.

Lashley’s art has evolved since his Rob Liefield esque days to a more stylised classic comic book style with hints of a Japanese influence, his work on the cover to this looks pretty good so I’m hopeful for a stick to this quality.

Reasons to buy: War comic!, Mike Costa and super spies

Worries: Please don’t go all Liefield on me Lashley stick with the style you used in The Flash.

MEN OF WAR #1 Written by IVAN BRANDON Art by TOM DERENICK

Sgt. Rock is back in his own series and he’s brining a truck load of war stories with him. This Sgt Rock seems to be a descendant of the classic Frank Rock with Joe Rock taking over a new easy company; this could mean either modern day stories or Vietnam. Personally I could go for some Vietnam action but given the premise of the group being private contractors this will more likely be a Blackwater type deal.

If Ivan Brandon’s Vertigo series “Viking” and his work on the “Final Crisis aftermath escape” book are anything to go by then we are in for a treat here. If you like war movies or any action orientated stuff starring any of The Expendables then pick this up.

Derenick has had some sporadic work in comics such as Trinity and the Smallville tie in comic so he’s all of which was very nice looking, it is in his conventions ketches and covers that we see what this book could be if he is given enough time to complete it by DC. One of the larger and more expensive DC comics sitting at a £3.00 price point for the extra pages could mean delays.

Reasons to buy: It’s a Sgt Rock book, think Tom hanks in Saving Private Ryan meets Hogan’s heroes and that’s pretty much how awesome it is. Capable writer, potentially great artist.

Worries: larger book, more pages = possible delays.

ALL-STAR WESTERN #1 Written by JUSTIN GRAY and JIMMY PALMIOTTI Art by MORITAT

Jonah hex in an oversized Western set in the lawless town of Gotham, The Good, the Bad and The ugly meets the western world of the DCU and no Megan Fox in site. Disfigured bounty Hunter Jonah Hex is a vicious vigilante who revels in dealing with wanted men and he’s very good at catching them. This book will also offer glimpses into the past of Gotham as it will also feature crazy Amadeus Arkham and the Gotham Police department.

Hex is a fun character if you like westerns in general, if you don’t avoid this book. The writers on this have proven to be the masters of the one and done story and if they stick with that format here this comic could very well offer a jump in jump out situation, if you fancied getting it a few months down the line, you wouldn’t have to worry about catching up.

Moritat’s art is unbelievably good, it just oozes style and from what I have seen of this book in preview pages so far he is going to kill it with gusto and gritty awesomeness.

Reasons to buy: Palmiotti and Gray have a proven track record on Hex, Moritat’s freaking artwork

Worries: Western is a niche market arguably and could put off new readers only interested in superhero books.

The final Six approach and they come with a ahndy "Where to buy Guide" for UK readers

DC RELAUNCH PART 3: A Corps of Red and Green and a Dark, dark team

2011-06-21T12:06:00.000-07:00

GREEN LANTERN written by Geoff Johns ART by DOUG MAHNKE

The first of four green lantern titles within the relaunch, and guess what status quo intact for this and the other three. The GL books are a money maker for DC so changing too much is a bad idea. Same creative team as we have had for a while both of who work together very well and deliver great stories.

This is the book where you will find Green lantern Hal Jordan, now being seen in theatres played by Ryan Reynolds. If you like the movie dive into this, but be aware that as kid friendly as the movie apparently is, the GL comic is an uber violent Star Wars esque thrill ride brought to page by Dough Mahnke who’s horror unique art style has meshed very well with the violent space opera of Green Lantern.

Hal Jordan in the comics is a cocky pilot who has suffered a lot of tragedy in his life from the death of his father to his possession by an evil alien entity named Parallax, who proceeded to turn Jordan into a bad guy for several years only for Hal to return to the DCU better and stronger as the greatest Green lantern.

Reasons to buy: Green lantern has gone from strength to strength since 2005 where Geoff Johns took him from a B list character to getting a freaking movie that’s how important he is now. Doug Mahnke’s horror like style lends itself to the darkness of space clashing with bright ass coloured corps.

Worries: New readers beware that green Lantern lore is inherently goofy a fact that has spurned the movies bad reviews. If you can look past the kookiness then this is a great read.

GREEN LANTERN CORPS #1 Written by PETER J. TOMASI Art by FERNANDO PASARIN

The second GL book showcases the adventures of gruff Ginger Green Lantern Guy Gardner, as seen in the Batman Brave and the bold cartoon and John Stewart the Green Lantern that appeared as part of the animated DCU Justice League.

The set up explains that both John and Guy are getting a team of top notch green lanterns together to create an elite force capable of dealing with high end problems and bad guys.

A move that makes sense for John Stewart given his background as a Marine but seems odd for Gardner a man who is overtly rude brash and likes the sound of his own voice. This will be the second team that Gardner is on in this new Relaunch but in the ever tangible geography of comics this shall not pose a problem.

The GL books in the past few years have had a cohesive feel to them with incidents occurring in one book being referenced in the other to full blown cross over’s such as the Sinestro Corps War, now considered one of the Greatest crossover stories in the comics companies history. This should not deter those who only wish to read one title as the stories within stand alone very well.

Tomasi like Johns has been deeply involved in the GL universe for a long time now and has a great handle on his chosen characters, especially guy and the art of Fernando Pasarin fits Green lantern like the hero’s weird white gloves.

Reasons to buy: For those who only know John Stewart this is your book JL cartoon fans, Great creative team on this one folks

Worries: GL Corps tends to feature a lot of Guy Gardner and if you don’t like the character it will grate on you. Tomasi’s love for the character could potentially leave others in the background.

GREEN LANTERN: NEW GUARDIANS #1 Written by TONY BEDARD Art by TYLER KIRKHAM

This book will feature my generations Green lantern Kyle Rayner as he gathers together one member from ach of the SEVEN Lantern corps of colours/emotions Red rage, Orange Avarice, Yellow Fear, Green Willpower, Blue Hope ,indigo Compassion and violet Love respectively.

The explosion of the colour spectrum of Lantern Corps has been an integral part of the GL Mythos since 2005 when Geoff Johns basically introduced the concept to explain the Green lanterns weakness against yellow, for only Fear can dampen the Willpower of people.

Since then the different corps have featured in grand stories and this book offers new readers a sample of each of them and their abilities.

This book has me excited, mainly because Kyle Rayner is my favourite GL, he is the one I was reading in the 90s when I discovered Green lantern and as such he has a special place in my heart. Tony Bedard is a great sci-fi writer, if Geoff John’s work is like a 18 rated Star Wars Bedard’s is like Firefly and Battlestar Gallatica.

Tyler Kirkham is a growing artist, with a cool strong style that has grown from harshness to fitting green Lantern very well and he only continues to get better.

Reasons to buy: The one place for a guaranteed buffet of the emotional spectrum of Corps, Creative team proven track record.

Worries: this is the deep end of the pool; if you can’t get around the multi colour corps here then you might never get your head round it.

RED LANTERNS #1 Written by PETER MILLIGAN Art by ED BENES

The crimsons light of Rage get their own title this September from the mind of Irish Writer Milligan, a man responsible for 70 issues of spectacular stories featuring a lesser known character Shade the Changing Man and his credits don’t end there with hundreds of titles in the bibliography of a great storyteller.

Milligan’s ability to take a relatively unknown character and tell meaningful stories with them has me enthused for this title. The Red Lanterns are very angry and as such if not done properly can come off as both one note and pointless, under Milligan’s hand that should not be a problem.

The only issue I can see rearing its ugly head here is Ed Benes Cheesecake art (an issue I mistakenly attributed to Eddy Barrows last time: see Nightwing for change) with his characters looking like supermodels and his use of very pin-up style female figures.

This is more of a problem here as having a random supermodel resembling humanoid female amongst the cadre of monster found in the Red lantern Corps could really mess up the feng shui of the scene.

Benes takes his time with his work and as such can be late, it is admittedly nice to look at when it’s done but lateness could really fuck up the cohesive Lantern universe.

Reasons to buy: Peter Milligan unleashing his talent on a relatively untapped ensemble of characters here.

Worries: Cheesecake art rearing its head from Benes

JUSTICE LEAGUE DARK #1 Written by PETER MILLIGAN Art by MIKEL JANIN

The first book in the DCU Dark line will feature what is essentially a magic orientated Justice League tem tasked with dealing with the magical foes that the regular Justice League are ill equipped to face. The team consists of the cream of the crop of magical heroes with Shade the Changing Man, Madame Xanadu, Deadman, Zatanna and John Constantine (pronounced like LINE not TEEN by the way).

This is my pick of the month book folks, full on exceptional idea, brining Peter Milligan back to write Shade the Changing man in a book is worth the asking price on its own but couple that with backwards spelling Zatanna and John Bloody Constantine entering the DCU fray in a big way again makes this book a dream come true.

Mikel Janin’s painted like style can be seen in the recent Deadman and the flying Grayson’s, Flashpoint mini-series and it is something else, possibly the best looking book of the new relaunch here and well worth your money.

Reasons to buy: great for those averse to superhero books but are interested in the relaunch. Flagship book of the DARK line.

Worries: There are none really, unless you hate magic based stories.

SWAMP THING #1 Written by SCOTT SNYDER Art by YANICK PAQUETTE

The elemental juggernaut that is Swamp thing returns to the DCU in his own series after many years in comic book Limbo and pre-limbo residence in VERTIGO, Swamp Thing Alec Holland who was once removed as the real Swamp thing by Alan Moore in favour of a Swamp Thing who only thought he was Alec Holland.

This Swamp Thing debuted in Brightest Day 24 and has been shown to be a much more violent figure, towards people and companies that hurt the environment killing several Oil tycoons at the end of said issue of Brightest Day. Swamp Thing an elemental force serves the Green, a force for nature in the world.

Swamp Thing is a character that is very much a product of environmentalist thinking nowadays but his connection to the magical forces and his relationship with John Constantine allow for some varied storytelling. Swamp Thing the creature once covered Gotham City in trees and plant life just to prove a point, so seeing him interact with some more DC super heroes would be fun.

Yanick Paquette is a great artist with a solid style that will suit the Swamp Thing to a tee if his recent work on Batman Incorporated is anything to go buy.

Reasons to buy: Swamp Thing is an easy to understand character he loves nature and is happy to be alive. Scott Snyder has proven he can write supernatural works on his Vertigo book American Vampire, High hopes for this. Yanick Paquette’s art is exemplary and should suit the book.

Worries: Swamp thing has the baggage of a fairly crappy tv series and movie sequel, Alan Moore wrote the character for years and no one has been able to eclipse that run since.

ANIMAL MAN #1 Written by JEFF LEMIRE Art by TRAVEL FOREMAN

A character made famous by Grant Morrison in his epic Meta tale from 1988 to 1990, since then Animal Man has appeared sporadically throughout the DCU. Animal Man Buddy Baker is a family man who can access the strengths and abilities of any animal from throughout the world. He wants to fly he can use the powers of an eagle, super strength RHINO POWER!

In this new series, we are teased that Animal Mans daughter will begin to develop powers in a move reminiscent of the Doctor Doolittle sequel, albeit with added action and decent writing from Jeff Lemire. Lemire is best known for his creator owned works Essex County and Sweet Tooth but has proven himself on super hero comics with his short lived but wonderful run on Superboy.

Traval Foreman as an artist has a wide style, in that he can utilise a highly stylised manner of drawing but can shift effortlessly into a more traditional style of super hero art, if he uses all the tools in his art box this could make for a unique looking comic.

Reasons to buy: Easy to access character, family environment familiar to many his Power set ensures a wide range of ways in which to kick some villain ass.

Worries: A fairly niche character whose only major exposure came in a story that was more about dissecting the Comic book medium than about him.

FRANKENSTEIN, AGENT OF S.H.A.D.E. #1 Written by JEFF LEMIRE Art by ALBERTO PONTICELLI

Jeff Lemire is going to be busy this year I think with two books in the DCU relaunch and his own equally excellent creator owned work reaching issue 25, I do hope he doesn’t hurt himself as I quite like the idea of at least two Lemire books every month.

The title of this book is both obvious and hidden at the same time, The titular Frankenstein is exactly who you think he is, Frankenstein’s monster from Mary Shelley’s novel just placed in the DCU with some history of fighting Nazi’s and multi dimensional enemies.

The acronym S.H.A.D.E stands for The Super Human Advanced Defense Executive, an organisation comprised of super powered oddities like Frankenstein, a vampire and more who struggle against the monsters and things that go bump in the night. This is basically DC’s answer to Hellboy and if you liked that type of story then this is definitely worth picking up.

Italian artist Alberto Ponticelli brings a European sense of kickass art to this comic, which promises a classic comic book style for this book but he hasn’t done much work of a high profile since his Marvel knights work I am interested to see how his style has evolved since then.

Reasons to buy: ensemble team with recognisable troupes and lead character. Jeff Lemire is great at doing weird stuff.

Worries: Not many, Frankenstein ala DCU is a fun character who hasn’t had much exposure which could work against him in selling this book to new readers.

I, VAMPIRE #1 Written by JOSHUA HALE FIALKOV Art by ANDREA SORRENTINO

The solicit text for this book reads “For hundreds of years, vampire Andrew Stanton kept mankind safe from the horrors of the supernatural world, thanks to a truce he made with his ex-lover Mary, the Queen of the Damned.” If this isn’t a way in which to attract the Teen Vampire audience then I don’t know what is; thing is that might not be a bad thing.

It isn’t the most unique idea, throwing Vampires into a superhero universe, sometimes it works really well ala Blade other times it fails miserably,( see recent X-men vampire story, they made Jubilee a fucking vampire!) so it remains to be seen if I, Vampire can successfully integrate itself into the DCU.

Fialkov is a name I’ve seen turn up throughout the industry for years in a number of series and one shots (Elks Run) so it’s great to see him on an ongoing, hopefully people don’t judge this on face value, if you’re a guy buy it for your girlfriend and see if it’s any good because Fialkov is a pretty good writer.

My Only exposure to the work of Andrea Sorrentino is his work on the God of War comic which may have paled in the writing department kicked ass in the art department. Not god enough to warrant the price on its own but still really nice to look at.

Reasons to buy: Different than the other books, Vampires have a focused audience nowadays, self explanatory title.

Worries: lasting power, Vampires in superhero comics aren’t always great, untested team. Twilight fans in your comic shop (just kidding).

RESURRECTION MAN Written by DAN ABNETT and ANDY LANNING Art by FERNANDO DAGNINO

The return of Mitch Shelly and apparently he’s still dead, Resurrection Man is a character who never stays dead for very long, always resurrecting after every death. An immortal character is hard to worry about given the obvious not able to die thing, but the story presented in this seems interesting with a shady group determined to find out why Mitch is so special.

Abnett and Lanning have been responsible for some of the best cosmic stories at Marvel and just finished off a grand cross over for IDW comics featuring all say companies licensed properties vs. zombies, so they are no strangers to the supernatural either.

Resurrection man as a character poses some problems for new readers; not only is he obscure he is exceptionally hard to relate to given he can’t die.

Reasons to buy: Abnett and Lanning have a proven track record in comics with critical praise and increasing sales with previously B list or C list characters. They could do the same here.

Worries: Niche character that happens to be immortal, keeping tension when your character can’t die will be hard.

DEMON KNIGHTS #1 Written by PAUL CORNELL Art by DIOGENES NEVES

“Gone!, gone! the form of man arise the demon ETRIGAN!” heralds the arrival of jack Kirby’s kick ass Arthurian Monster, Jason Blood is a man tormented by his predicament of having the demon Etrigan grafted onto his soul by Merlin himself. Etrigan, a rhyming Demon is released when Blood says aloud the above poem.

The appeal of this book is in its author Paul Cornell, a man familiar to non comic readers as the writer of the celebrated Doctor Who Episodes “Human Nature” and “The Family of blood” and to comic readers as the man that made a yearlong story about Lex Luthor the best Action comics story in years.

Set in a medieval DC universe Cornell has promised era exclusive countries and characters in an Arthurian tale wherein a barbarian horde is setting across civilisation in an attempt to crush all who oppose them. The task of defeating the oncoming storm falls to Madame Xanadu and Jason Blood, unfortunately Blood’s alter ego Etrigan doesn’t really want to help anyone other than himself.

Diogenes Neves is one of DC’s greatest if a bit underrated, artists and seeing him on this given that he brings a European sense of scale to a very European book was a very apt choice for Demon Knights and this is defiantly one to watch.

Reasons to buy: the Demon Etrigan is a complex and brutal character, Great creative team, very different book.

Worries: The Demons constant rhyming could annoy some people.

And that’s it for today, the previously promised suicide squad stuff will come tomorrow. Didn’t fit in with these books to be honest and I wanted to really keep similar stuff together.

DC Relaunch Part two: The World’s Finest Strike Back

2011-06-19T09:09:00.000-07:00

This in my second of four articles will cover the entire Batman and Superman titles include in the September Relaunch, as the two most recognisable characters in the DCU I know that these are the ones that many new readers will gravitate towards. So obviously this is the most important for many.

Action Comics written by Grant ‘freaking’ Morrison ART by RAGS MORALES

One of the two perennial DC titles that I did not expect them to re-number, given the historical importance of the original Action Comics #1, introduced a world to Superman for the very first time, so obviously the creative team on this has a lot to work towards.

Starring Kal-el of krypton Action Comics has traditionally featured, as you might expect, Action orientated stories. Morrison has given the impression in interviews that he hopes to reinvent the whole comic storytelling process with this comic, doing things that are only possible within the medium; ambitious stuff. Morrison is a fan of the 30’s Superman so expect muggers to get thrown through walls at some point.

The big difference in this version to older rendition is that humanity does not trust Superman, a status quo that could be either a good thing or a bad idea.

Rags Morales on art, is a perfect choice for Morrison’s vision as Morales’ tale on the big blue Boy Scout is purposely similar to the old school style of drawing him, and he does it so well.

Reasons to buy: Grant Morrison has proven he can write a great Superman story as evidenced by his spectacular “All Star Superman”. Superman rocking jeans on the cover is intriguing enough on its own.

Worries: Grant Morrison has a penchant for the weird, so the possibility of alienating new readers with his hyper/meta textual narratives is there. Superman in jeans while intriguing could potentially put people off; the suit is iconic.

SUPERMAN #1 Written by GEORGE PEREZ Breakdowns by GEORGE PEREZ Art by JESUS MERINO

The second Superman title starring the Man of Steel is exciting because of George Perez. Perez a top tier comic artist for decades and a proven writer having penned an iconic Wonder Woman run in the late 80s makes his writer credit here very exciting.

I should explain that Breakdowns basically mean the layout of the pages, George will be in charge of the composition of the pages, a rough draft if you will, with Jesus Merino (a very capable artist in his own right) doing finishes on the work. The reason for this being that George Perez as a full artist is remarkable albeit slow hence the help.

Expect this comic to answer any questions you have in regards to Supes status quo, how his relaunch affects his marriage to Lois Lane and his work at The Daily Planet in later issues, but the promise of a grand fight in the 1^st issue should be both visually fun and exciting.

Reasons to buy: George Perez is a great writer; his Wonder Woman run remains one of the few complete runs on that character that people mention in a favourable manner. If you want a Superman title that will focus on the relationships of Supes I’d go for this.

Worries: Not many to be honest, Perez as I have said is quite slow, but I don’t think this will really affect the book with Merino on board. The problem with this set up is that we won’t really get to see Merino’s art which is a shame.

SUPERBOY #1 Written by SCOTT LOBDELL Art by RB SILVA

The solicit text for this book read like something from years ago with a return to a worried maladjusted version of Superboy Connor Kent. Connor is a clone created from the DNA of Superman and Lex Luthor; a genetic depression to Connor as a whole.

The problem with this title is that this story has already been done and is available in lots of easy to find trade paperbacks in Waterstones, however for new readers this version of Superboy which seems to be very similar to the “Young Justice” cartoon version, offers a chance to get in on the ground floor of a truly rebooted character as opposed to the slightly altered other stuff going around.

RB Silva offers a style that varies from high end cool to downright mediocre at times, If he brings his A game to this book then expect a really good looking book. Scott Lobdell has a number of comics coming out in September; he has stated that he is really focused on Superboy so here’s hoping he has worked his way out from his recent slump.

Reasons to buy: Superboy is a relatable character as many people understand the parent issues he faces; his powers are not a direct copy of Superman which offers some tactile telekinetic moments of fun.

Worries: RB Silva is fairly inconsistent but when at his best, expect awesomeness. Lobdell is a decidedly 90s writer which could put off a lot of invested readers. Jeff Lemire was on this book last and set a high benchmark that will be hard to beat.

SUPERGIRL #1 Written by MICHAEL GREEN and MIKE JOHNSON Art by MAHMUD ASRAR

Supergirl, the teenage Kryptonian cousin of Superman who, in this new version, has the same powers of Superman though does not share his good feeling towards humanity. A Stroppy teenage Supergirl with a rather odd costume that, whilst being suitably alien, looks odd with the choice of no covering for her knees amongst her high boots. At the very least the pervy costume is gone, a costume I’ve disliked since becoming a Dad, she’s a teenager and it just weird leering at a fourteen year old regardless of how fictional they are.

Michael Green is the co writer of the recent Green lantern movie and has also worked on both Heroes and wrote a fun batman story within BATMAN CONFIDENTIAL, so he’s still very much seen as a TV writer so it remains to be seen how he does here.

Turkish born Asrar is an exceptional artist and I look forward to seeing his take on Supergirl, his style is best seen during dynamic action sequences and thus Supergirl will be best suited for his talents.

Reasons to buy: Supergirl is a strong character in her own merit, and a strong female character is fairly rare in comics so this is welcome. ASRARS art is worth the entry price, great expressions and great compositions.

Worries: Michael Green’s only work in the full on super hero motif was within heroes and Smallville two series that have been known to sometimes showcase the worst ideas of superheroes. Teen angst can get annoying very quickly; If she yells at Clark that he isn’t her father at any point I’m out.

BATMAN #1 Written by SCOTT SNYDER Art by GREG CAPULLO

To launch the first batman #1 since 1940 DC chose an expected high level team, Scott Snyder is coming off a defining run on Detective Comics and Capullo is best known for his work on Image comic’s mainstay Spawn.

“Batman” has often been the Batman comic where you find the superhero style Batman stories and with the solicit text declaring an ancient conspiracy about Gotham City as an entity expect some out there stories. Batman sells himself when it comes to all media. If you liked the games dive in to this book, if you liked Nolan’s movies there is a chance you may be put off by the superhero aspect.

Recent art shown from Capullo on his facebook page indicate that the Joker and Two-Face will feature with designs both familiar and in Greg Capullo’s own style.

Reasons to buy: Batman is the easiest character to get into folks dive right in. Greg Capullo when utilising his own style and not mimicking others through editorial mandate (see spawn) is a great artist.

Worries: Possible chance of putting off Nolanverse fans due to the superhero themes.

DETECTIVE COMICS #1 Written by TONY S. DANIEL Art by TONY S. DANIEL

The other book I did not expect them to re-number and the second book to star Batman (Bruce Wayne) of many on this list. I was hoping that this book, because its rebooting, might have went back to its initial 26 issue form of featuring different characters. Obviously in issue 27 Batman appeared and basically has ruled ever since. I wouldn’t have minded an anthology book featuring lesser known characters as opposed to another Bruce Wayne book.

DC’s flagship title, as the name suggests, is the detective book featuring Batman, expect street level bad guys and realistic storylines when compared with the Scott Snyder title.

Tony Daniel has proven himself on Batman in both the art and writing having finished a run on the “Batman” title recently, he is also responsible for the artwork found in BATMAN RIP that featured the Joker with the scary ass Chelsea grin.

Joker is on the cover to this comic so people will probably pick it up, please note that covers don’t always reflect what is found within, be wary.

Reasons to buy: It’s Batman. Tony Daniel is familiar with the character and passionate

Worries: Outside of the missed opportunity to have an anthology book Daniel has only really worked in the superhero story Batman so his street level work remains to be tested.

BATWING by JUDD WINICK and Art by Ben Oliver

The Batman of AFRICA ladies and gentleman, a character featured briefly in Batman Incorporated is a blank slate character with limited exposure and stories so Judd Winick is free to do what he wants with this guy. There is so much potential for cool stories here, the scope of his stomping grounds means we can have a story in the Ivory Coast dealing with real life problems in Libya. Egypt based story with mummies please!

Judd Winick is no slouch when it comes to Batman based comics having successfully brought back long dead Jason Todd, is he is half as good at new characters as he is at reinvigorating older ones then this book will be one to watch.

Ben Oliver former Ultimate X-men and Judge Dredd artist is definitely capable if relatively unknown, the cover does look great so I am optimistic.

Reasons to buy: diverse character with lots of story potential. Great writer.

Worries: that costume is fucking horrible and therefore off putting.

BATMAN: THE DARK KNIGHT #1 Written by DAVID FINCH Art by DAVID FINCH

The second artist/writer combo on the Bat books offers up some kickass art with some mediocre writing if previous entries in this series are any indication. This one is weird as far as the relaunch goes as only two issues have been released so far anyway. David Finch si a brilliant artist but he is a slow artist expect delays ad nauseam.

Expect a book similar to Batman with the rogues gallery featuring prominently, the solicit promises a trip through Arkham Asylum, expect something akin to the video games story here without the upgrading weapons or titan formula. It also makes mention of legal issues in regards to batman Incorporated Bruce Wayne’s world wide crime fighting organisation. Real world problems in a superhero book have been done; we shall see what he can bring.

Reasons to buy: David Finch in terms of art is a huge draw, if you are willing to buy this without reading the words then go for it.

Worries: Finch has shown that he needs to grow as a writer before this can be worth buying. Wait for reviews.

BATMAN AND ROBIN #1 Written by PETER J. TOMASI Art by PATRICK GLEASON

The only book to find the greatest new character to grace Batman in recent years, Damian ‘lil fucker’ Wayne ,This team up book offers up comic for those who love the dynamic between Batman and Robin with a twist. Bruce Wayne and his son’s relationship is an odd one (his Grandfather is R’as ahl Guhl) and together there could be some fireworks.

The first issue promises a new opponent for Batman and Robin to face which is always good as it is less predictable than say The Joker turning up.

The creative team of Peter Tomasi and Patrick Gleason have proven time and time again that they work really well together, Gleason’s art lends itself to the dark environments of Gotham City but is also quite niche and could put off some people.

If you want a bat book that will deliver each and every month I recommend this one.

Reasons to buy: Damian Wayne’s presence, the creative team, new villains.

Worries: Niche art style, the inclusion of Robin could put off some non-comics Batman fans.

BATGIRL #1 Written by GAIL SIMONE Art by ARDIAN SYAF

This is a big deal as it brings formally handicapped Barbara Gordon back into the role of Batgirl a decision both applauded by some fans and derided by others. Barbara Gordon has spent the last 20 years as Oracle a wheelchair bound computer wizard who assisted the other heroes in their endeavours with Intel etc.

The fact that they decided to de-disable Barbara in this relaunch is controversial to say the least, as she has arguably been only one of two disabled high profile characters to feature in comics, even professor Xavier walks again now. As such she has been something of a role model for comic readers who are not able bodied. That being said if anyone can do this transition right and respectfully it is Gail Simone who has a strong emotional investment in the character and a great deal of respect for the opinions of fans.

Ardian Syaf is a good artist and has drawn a lot of bat characters throughout lots of fill in positions on comics and it is good to see him on a long term run finally.

Reasons to buy: Gail Simone writes great female characters, historical importance?

Worries: Barbara was very important as Oracle and I hope that role continues in tandem with her role as Batgirl.

BATWOMAN #1 Written by J.H. WILLIAMS III and W. HADEN BLACKMAN Art by J.H. WILLIAMS III

The long awaited return of Batwoman to the DCU, with the great JH Williams on board to continue art duties and now co writing this book with W.Haden Blackman. This particular Batwoman is the one that got a lot of press because of her sexuality. She’s gay by the way.

Her sexuality admittedly has led to some good stories with her career in the military coming to an end in her origin via the thankfully abandoned “don’t ask don’t tell” policy. Her father offers her over the airwaves backup with tactics etc as a former military man himself he’s well versed.

I have been waiting months for this book, nearly a year in fact, and to see it finally coming out is almost unreal, the previous Batwoman stories in Detective Comics only wet my appetite for the character and I can’t wait to dive in.

Her relationship to the previous Batwoman of the silver age will apparently be explored something I look forward to as an old school comics lover.

JH Williams is arguably the best and most unique artist in comics today, with the ability to change his style to suit the context of the story on a whim, going from bright cheery looking art to dark brooding painted style for Batwoman orientated scenes.

Reasons to buy: JH WILLIAMS on art duties is more than worth the money. Interesting character.

Worries: Williams is untested as a writer and has a lot to live up to given Greg Rucka’s previous work on the character.

NIGHTWING #1 Written by KYLE HIGGINS Art by EDDY BARROWS

After his short stint as Batman the once Robin Nightwing Dick Grayson, who many non-comic readers will remember from the Batman animated series and hopefully forget from the Joel Schumacher Batman films will seemingly embrace his destiny as the circus in which his parents died returns to Gotham city brining some bad stuff with it.

I have never read anything by Kyle Higgins but the emotional impact that this storyline could have on Dick Grayson means I will buy this, its quiet shocking to think no one has ever done this before and I am a sucker for original ideas. Expanding upon Grayson’s history can only be a good thing.

Eddy barrows is great artist and has been underused in recent months and it will be great to see hsi storytellign ability shine through again.

Reasons to buy: Delving into Grayson’s history, a return to the Nightwing persona returns Grayson to his status of being independently successful away from Bruce.

Worries: Eddy barrows is sometimes late and the young Kyle Higgins.

CATWOMAN #1 Written by JUDD WINICK Art by GUILLEM MARCH

The second comic by Judd Winick in the Batman line gives him chance to exercise his reinvigorating muscles with Selina Kyle, once again the protagonist to her own series, bring on the claws people. Catwoman seems relatively unchanged by the relaunch, still a thief and still fancies Batman.

This Catwoman will no doubt be very similar to the ones we will find in Arkham City and The Dark Knight Rises so very anyone who is only familiar with the bastardised version found in the Tim Burton Batman Sequel, this would be a good place to learn more about the character. She doesn’t have magical nine lives for a start.

Guilliem March has a unique hyper vibrant style that could either sell or ruin this book, given the look of the cover and his previous work with the character I’m inclined to think the former but only time will tell, he is an artist that suffers if his work is not coloured correctly.

Reasons to buy: Catwoman is fun to read people, teach the un-initiated about the REAL Catwoman.

Worries: Colouring issue have let down March in the past, If Selina is continually pining after Batman then this could become stale.

BIRDS OF PREY #1 Written by DUANE SWIERCZYNSKI Art by JESUS SAIZ

Featuring Black canary, Starling and some other recognisable faces from the Batman universe lead the all girl team book that has garnered quite a following in recent years under Gail Simone re starts again with a new creative team and a new team.

For those wanting to dip into the lesser known characters but have at least one familiar face (Poison Ivy!) this is the book for you, many of the featured characters have been present in other DC based media, hell the Birds of Prey even had their owns TV series once, fans of Smallville will recognise Black Canary and all Bat fans know Poison Ivy.

Swierczynksi may have a have a name that boggles my spell checker but that doesn’t reflect his proven track record with comics, the only issue is that Gail Simone has written this team so well for years that it could be a harsh contrast to get used to. For new readers obviously this shouldn’t eb a problem.

Jesus Saiz is a capable artist with a proven track record on The Brave and The Bold comic series (no relation to the cartoon) he is definitely the one I do not worry about on this book.

Reasons to buy: Interesting team dynamic, all female book with a all new line-up.

Worries: Some of the team members are strange given the team name usually means that only bird related codenames may apply. Perhaps he is using the colloquial meaning of “birds”.

RED HOOD AND THE OUTLAWS #1 Written by SCOTT LOBDELL Art by KENNETH ROCAFORT

Another former Robin and consummate asshole Jason Todd in his guise as the Red Hood is joined by former Junkie ex-sidekick of Green Arrow Roy Harper and Supermodel alien and former lover of Nightwing Starfire, in an effort to...become a team.

If truth be told the information on this book is limited beyond the team line-up and to be honest if we were going to put together a team of characters that you would not expect to work together this is what you would get. Roy Harper alone has a serious amount of baggage given his heroin problem.

Red Hood is basically Batman from the 30s, villain killing and happy about it, which is sometimes an interesting dynamic and other time decidedly tired given the anti hero boom lead by Wolverine back in the day. Starfire a former shagging partner of Dick Grayson is a worry here, I really Lobdell doesn’t arbitrarily have her shack up with another former Robin.

Without any idea as to what the team will be up against I can only comment that the art is really, really good here, Rocafort rocks it with every ounce of his being. Lobdell as I have said earlier is a 90s guy and that could work against him here.

Reasons to buy: Rocaforts artwork and a new idea.

Worries: little to no information on story.

That’s us for today join me tomorrow for a rundown from Green Lantern to A Harley Quinn led Suicide Squad Huzzah!

DC RELAUNCH PART ONE

2011-06-17T13:53:00.000-07:00

Here it goes DC Comics grand scheme to revitalise their comic lines, in an effort to appeal to older readers and draw in new readers from within the non comic reading world, be they from the movie going public or children who like Batman toys. 52 (lol) new #1 issues will come out during the month of September re-launching (definitely not a reboot apparently) the DC superhero universe.

Going over the information given by the solicitations, It dawned on me that very little of the information presented gives anyone not familiar with DC comics any real information in which to make an informed decision. So I figured i’d inform you lovely people over the next four days let us begin.

Justice League #1 Written by Geoff Johns and Art by Jim Lee and SCOTT WILLIAMS

The flagship book in this new diverse DC all the big characters Batman, Superman, Wonder Woman, Aquaman, Green lantern The Flash. Also joining them is former Teen Titan Cyborg getting something for a promotion in this relaunch. The first story arc will tell the origin of this Justice league offering a great diving in point for any new reader. From what I have read Batman is the instigator of the team joining, a wise move giving his star status in multimedia these days.

Reasons to buy: All the big characters, action orientated stories and some an excellent creative team

Worries about this series: Jim lee is notorious for being late with his issues, that being said the impression given during interviews seems to be that a few issues are complete hopefully allowing the busy co-publisher of DC comics enough of a head start to keep to schedule.

Justice League International written by Dan Jurgens art by AARON LOPRESTI and MATT RYAN

A great looking book with some second tier characters you may not be familiar with, but this shouldn’t be a bad thing, if we are being honest not knowing what you are going to get is scary but trust me these characters are worth shelling out the cash to see. Batman is present allowing a great gateway drug to the lesser known Booster Gold, Guy Gardner etc.

Reasons to buy: Dan Jurgens is a great writer with a strong handle on these characters. A globetrotting alternative to the USA based Justice League regular.

Worries: Dan Jurgens created Booster Gold and he could very well consume this series with his presence if Jurgens so wishes given the lack of a Booster Gold solo series.

Aquaman written by Geoff Johns art by IVAN REIS and JOE PRADO

I know what you are thinking “Aquaman! He’s rubbish all he can do is talk to fish what’s so good about him?” I’ll tell you, imagine a superman level strength with the ability to get sharks and giant squids to beat up his enemies. Aquaman is more than just his super friends appearance allowed you to know. A former King of Atlantis, since abandoned this position fights to protect both land and sea from all manner of evil doers such as Black Manta, a lunatic who murdered Aquaman’s son and in one comic Cthulhu .

The second comic written by Geoff Johns *Chief Creative Officer of DC comics) on this list, which means the serious will both honour the origins of the character whilst allowing a modern take means this issue will be presented in a newbie friendly manner much like John’s Green Lantern run.

Reasons to buy: Johns is great at revitalising B list characters he made Green Lantern an A list character, IVAN REIS.....his art is the epitome of great.

Worries: Aquaman carries with him an unwarranted stigma coupled with a fishy scale costume, this could work against him.

Wonder Woman written by Brian Azzarello art by CLIFF CHIANG

Wonder Woman offers up some Greek god fighting with a strong female focus, Wonder Woman is perhaps best recognised as Lynda Carter a version far from the modern day Amazonian Princess. Raised on an island entirely populated by women WW fights to protect the entire world from her particular brand of enemy, she has some beef with ARES.

Brian Azarello, writer of the popular JOKER graphic novel is a fairly accomplished writer but in the realm of WW he is an unknown variable. Cliff Chiang’s artwork is the main draw for this book, Google some of his work and be enthralled.

Reasons to buy: Wonder Woman is a fun character with a strong feminist ethos. If you liked the original Clash of the titans the villains will be marginally familiar to you.

Worries: As a feminist icon WW could very well put off some male readers, her recent costume change disposed of her classic costume which could very well put some people off; leggings on a superhero....really?

The Flash written by Francis Manapul and Brian Buccellato art by FRANCIS MANAPUL

The scarlet speedster should be familiar to anyone who ever watched the Justice League cartoon, albeit not the same man under the mask, Barry Allen CSI and super hero meet head on as Barry uses his duel identities to solve crime and fight super villains. Flash’s villain appear, at a glance, to be a bit cheesy but within their admittedly campy costumes lays some serious violence and real issues.

Francis Manapul utilises a wash technique in his art that allows this book to guarantee a truly unique visual look, he proves that there are more ways than just speed lines to show how fast a man can run.

Reasons to buy: As a member of the Justice League Flash is one of DC’s top characters and as such you can expect some hard hitting and important stories. The art will blow you away people. Look for videos of Francis painting online.

Worries: As a writing team Manapul and Buccelato are untested within DC, it remains to be seen how well they work together.

Captain Atom written by JT Krul art by FREDDIE WILLIAMS II

Who in the hell is Captain Atom? Many new readers will more than likely ask this question more than once during this list if truth be told. Captain Atom, former air force pilot Nathaniel Adam caught in a scientific experiment then duly atomised found himself with the ability to reform himself, super strength, flight and fire energy blasts.

Many of you may be looking at that origin and thinking “that seems familiar” Well Captain Atom was the original basis for Alan Moore’s Watchmen Character Doctor Manhattan minus the sombre attitude and questionable motives. The DC universe Captain Atom bares naught but superficial resemblance to his Watchmen counterpart his limited adventures have taken him from battling terrorists to fighting magical creatures in feudal magic lands; Plenty of room for diverse stories.

Reasons to buy: arguably an untapped character, killer art from FREDDIE WILLIAMS II.

Worries: JT Krul as a writer has been fairly inconsistent as of late with some great works such as teen titan and some beyond crap work such as the Rise of Arsenal in which a cat was murdered by a former super hero dwindling into drug use and impotence.

The Fury of Firestorm written by Gail Simone and Ethan Van Sciver Art by YILDIRAY CINAR

Jason Rusch and Ronnie Raymond are Firestorm a nuclear combination of a hero. When the two join together via the firestorm matrix a nuclear powered plot device, they become the hero Firestorm, both the high school students exist in the body at the same time with Jason’s scientific mind lending greatly to the powers of the hero.

Firestorm can fly, has control over levels of nuclear blasts but more interestingly can alter the molecular structure of any non living object into something else as long as they know the chemical formula for said material. Need to save someone falling off a bridge? Well just turn that solid concrete pavement into a crash mat. HUZZAH!

Reasons to buy: Great creative team on this one ladies and gentlemen. Firestorm is essentially a blank slate nowadays with the past stories seemingly cleared away to allow Jason and Ronnie to be high school students.

Worries: The power rangers like combination thing going on, on the cover suggests a possible further Firestorm transformation......don’t understand why this is needed but we shall see.

GREEN ARROW #1Written by J.T. Krul Art by DAN JURGENS

If you are a fan of the Smallville Green Arrow then pick this book as it seems to be going along that route with Oliver Queen travelling across the world righting wrongs and fighting justice. Green Arrow is essentially an American Robin Hood with heavily leftist political views.

Green Arrow has some baggage in the way of a former Junkie for a sidekick and has often been used to highlight delicate social political issues present in the world at the time of publication. Whether Krul will reach into theme remains to be seen as his previous run was bogged down with crossing over with an event book that was running concurrently.

Dan Jurgens writer of JLI on art is a welcome artist on any book, and I look forward to his interpretation of Ollie Queen.

Reasons to buy: for those put off by super heroes Green Arrow is a character in a similar vain to Batman, no Powers to speak of other than his refined archery abilities.

Worries: See Captain Atom for my JT Krul issues, Arrows with boxing gloves on the end are a possibility.

The Savage Hawkman written by Tony Daniel ART by Philip Tan

Think Indiana Jones by way of Davinci Code with some helpings of Conan, Savage Hawkman details the adventures of multiple times resurrected Carter Hall, another familiar face for Smallville fans, in his archaeological efforts and his crime fighting, with definite mace wielding included. Hawkman often delves into levels of alien lore with his mechanical wings originating from the Planet Thanagar.

Hawkman’s history is somewhat convoluted with him being a numerous times reincarnated Egyptian prince who was betrayed and cursed to forever die each and every time he meets his fellow reincarnate girlfriend Hawkgirl. Whether or not this tangled love story will carry over given the recent ending of the curse remains to be seen; reboots can change anything.

Reasons to buy: Tony Daniel has proven himself as a Batman writer in recent months with a real penchant for reinvigorating villains, an accomplishment hope to see him repeat here. Phillip Tans painted style will lend itself wonderfully to a globetrotting Indiana Jones style work like this.

Worries: Hawkman can become one dimensionally violent very easily if great care is not taken, the love story between him and his departed Shiera is also integral to relating to him beyond his initial brutish facade.

Mr Terrific written by Eric Wallace art by Roger Robinson

Mr Terrific in this re-envisioned version is the third smartest man in the world and leader of a scientific corporation that recruits the brightest minds to excel in their chosen field. A blank slate character much like Atom before him, Mr Terrific offers new readers a chance to enjoy a character with no baggage to worry about.

Terrific has the ability to talk to machines which when faced with robotic enemies and annoyingly complex security systems allows for a number of robot fighting escapades, not to mention some espionage to fill the pot.

The solicit for this issue promises to amaze us, I hope that it does.

Reasons to buy: One of the few books to have a non-white protagonist in a high end position, Eric Wallace is a fantastic writer.

Worries: Mr Terrific could become decidedly niche given his limited power set.

DC UNIVERSE PRESENTS #1 written By Paul Jenkins Art by BERNARD CHANG

DC Universe presents offers exactly what you would expect given the title, a dedicated spotlight on different characters over a number of months then moving on to another character for the next story arc and rinse and repeat.

I would recommend this book to anybody looking for a wider purview of the DC universe, affording the reader an insight into many characters over a year as opposed to just the one character in a solo book. The first 5 issue story arc will feature Deadman; a personal favourite of mine, Boston Brand will be familiar to fans of the Batman brave and The Bold cartoon as the body jumping spirit of a formerly alive trapeze artist.

The fact that Deadman is the first character should give an indication that this comic will highlight lesser known characters which in itself is a great idea as obscure characters rarely get exposure in the larger scale of the DC Universe.

I only hope that all the story arcs are not 5 issues as it means we will only get to see stories for two characters per year, more would be better.

Reasons to buy: Diverse character range, awesome art, easy access comic

Worries: 5 issue story arcs are sometimes too long some three or even two issue runs would be welcome, to allow readers to see more characters.

Part Two coming tomorrow night covering the Batman and Superman titles.

REVOLUTION

2011-06-12T06:50:00.000-07:00

The following two videos from anonymous detail their plans for the coming future, whether you are
in agreement with their ideals or not is up to you. Join the revolution or not.

Video one

the second video specifically details a call to arms, ladies and gentlemen, protest, graffiti peaceful means only.

Video two

DW OPENING EPISODES

2011-04-30T11:51:00.000-07:00

Last week I ranted about the joyous reaction of critics to the first episode of Moffatastic Doctor WHO series 6 or 32 depending on how you count it; I prefer 32 but I am fairly pedantic. So obviously I didn't give a large review on The Impossible Astronaut, essentially because I did not wish to judge the story based on its first part....Unlike certain Daily Mirror critics.

The Impossible Astronaut/Day of the Moon

The opening of The Impossible Astronaut conveniently got the traditional romp aspect of DW episode 1 that we have been accustomed to for the last few years out of the way within 6 minutes.

The Doctor very quickly and rather hilariously moves from random royal palace's to The Flying Deuces by way of a Nazi POW camp, Fucking huzzah I say. While admittedly silly fun this attention seeking from The Doctor seems redundant following the delivery of Tardis Blue envelopes containing an invitation to a special meeting.

So fast forward The Doctor has invited Amy Pond, Rory Pond, Doctor River Song Canton Deleware III (my new favourite sub-companion) and a surprise invitee that blew my fricking mind.

Anyway so while casually enjoying their picnic wherein The Doctor reaffirms his dislike for wine though noting that since he was 1103 he must have drank it at some point (Jon Pertwee)....wait 1103.

That's right this version of The Doctor is a good 200 years older than The Doctor last seen in the Space and Time shorts from red nose day, before we can get much discussion on this something happens that will be important for the entire series or at least the first half; not the only thing presented in the opening two episodes.

The real driving force of this episode is the phone calls being directed at Richard Nixon from a mysterious female caller. The episodes use of Nixon as a fairly likable character is one that I appreciated, given my sheer lack of interest in a Futurama Nixon almost parody. Nixon in these episodes is fairly nice, of course he does indeed have the penchant for recording his phone calls already.

The Silence........are.......fucking.......scary. My five year old has taken to hiding behind every cushion she can find whenever they appear on screen. But not content with being simply terrifying they are fairly complicated creatures only existing in a persons memory when they are being looked at; madness but enjoyable madness.

Trying not to spoil The Impossible Astronaut has led this next paragraph to become very difficult.

The Doctor, Amy, River and Rory go to an abandoned warehouse wherein they find The Astronaut who supposedly *censored* and within which they find the child calling Nixon who *censored* though not to worry this will be washed away by episode 2.

The titular astronaut arguably is the most important thing in this episode serving up questions for an entire series, in more than one way as seen in Day of the MOON

I have to admit when I watched The Impossible Astronaut I thought that Toby Haynes had wasted an opportunity shooting in America, but when I seen Day of the Moon I feel the man excelled in using the scenery to its fullest. The aerial shots of Utah were beautiful and I will be watching them again and again.

Oky doky episode 2 opened in a manner I did not expect, flashing forwards 3 months with Poor Amy Pond, River Song and Rory the Roman running away from former friend Canton, (side note: Mark Shepperd must return) who proceeds to apparently gun down Amy and Rory then chases River out of a building.

Cantons apparent betrayal is explained when we travel to area 51 to find an unshaven Doctor chained up with an unbreakable prison made from dwarf star matter being constructed around him; OH NO!

Oh wait Cantons not a bad guy and The Tardis is in the prison with him? fantastic.

So with travel to NASA, an orphanage and the returning FAUX Tardis from The Lodger ahead of us the episode just dives in with a great big GERONIMO and a nice splash from River Song.

The Orphanage scenes were wonderfully atmospheric with such a haunted house feel it would have been cliche were it not bloody creepy. The Silence hanging from the ceiling and the ever increasing marks on Miss Ponds face lead to a Revelation regarding the child within the space suit; the first of many this episode.

The poor Orphanage caretaker highlights just how powerful the silence truly are showing how they can also post hypnotically suggest things into a humans mind as well as edit themselves out; a power that eventually leads to a spectacular cluster fuck for their plans.

The manner in which The Doctor deals with The Silence is intrinsically linked to everything that happens post Amy Ponds abduction; I'm sure this has happened to her before. Anyway to really delve into the minutia of details here would count as spoiling an episode that hasn't aired din the USA yet so I feel obliged to let the clever yanks that watch DW find all this out for themselves.

Suffice it to say The Doctor's victory is sublimely Doctorish but with an added hint of Rivers violence which The Doctor seems to find himself approving of, much to his own surprise and mine. Hopefully the man will address this changing attitude some time soon.

The final five-ten minutes of Day of the Moon set up two distinct questions that may or may not be related but will undoubtedly cause forums all over the Doctor WHo interweb forums explode in madness, excitement and possible ejaculation.

Roll on Next weeks Pirate centric Curse of the Black Spot and my more spoilery review given that episode is unlikely to tie in too much to the overall series arc; G'night.

The Impossible to Fathom Critics

2011-04-25T03:36:00.000-07:00

Last Saturday saw the return of the greatest sci fi show in all of Christendom, very appropriately, Doctor Who. With a rip roaring series opener that managed to genuinely shock and amaze me, my girlfriend, the mother in law and my newly turned five year old Daughter. In one episode viewing we laughed and cried and basically enjoyed every second.

Now You know how I feel about the episode, I loved it and so did the independent,the movie blog, sfx and so on and so forth however.....and this is a big however. There were some people who were critical of the intricate nature of the plot e.g. they felt it was too complicated.

This is where I take issue, any other criticism I have found about the exposition filled dialogue and pacing I have agreed with, It was a very wordy episode. But seriously.....complicated is a bad thing?

These are the same people who though that the human/time lord meta crisis as penned by RTD was an interesting concept; it isn't remotely worth the effort in talking about.

Now when Grand Moff Tarkin (Steven Moffat) took over I knew what we would be getting in these pivotal episodes, timey wimey extravaganza with some intricate plotting. Everyone seemed to love him for it when he wasn't show runner, yet now it's a bad thing?

I figure it's just a case of if you're show runner you need to be critiqued in some way, so obviously Moffats favourite troupes are an easy target, but they shouldn't be a target. Before Moffat came along and came up with the "wibbly, wobbly, timey wimey" explanation of the time space continuum in Doctor Who we were sitting with rules presented by RTD that were a bit on the strict side; back to the future blowing up the universe over the tiniest little paradox is not fun.

But back to my issue with the critics, yes I know they're allowed their opinion but I am still waiting on a positive review form someone who works for Newscorp.....don't think that will happen mind. The critic for Chicago Now expressed his disdain to the point of calling for the shows cancellation. Wow how optimistic is this American, you really think the BBC would cancel DW everywhere even if the BBC America viewing figures aren't High, that wont matter. it will be a fairly big financial blow but DW is a BRITISH institution and as such will not be cancelled here any time soon.

The reason it wont be cancelled is on that all the Critics calling for its end have missed. The Impossible Astronaut brought in an estimated audience of 6.5 million viewers. Yes that is down by 1.5 million from last years opener but that's not a mark on the quality of the show as you lot seem to gestate. It is a mark on the scheduling. The iplayer hit count for DW is consistently high, During the time it is on air it often beats Eastenders to the iplayer coveted top requested video.

Now the BBC aren't allowed to measure these figures in conjunction with the viewing figures, so if we look at the average figures presented here we get an extra 2 million viewers. It is also worth noting that the figures for those who recorded the programme to watch later on in the day, post the lovely weather, have not been accounted for yet; expect a dramatic increase asshole critics.

So what must the BBC do to avoid this kind of drop in viewers? schedule it during your dance programmes slot. Lets be honest, these variety shows are not the biggest draw on the BBC, they're more ITV thing, they do them well; regardless of my contempt for X-factor and Britain's got talent they are well made.

I guarantee that if Doctor Who aired consistently at 7pm every Saturday the viewing figures would remain above 7 million because that is how many people actually watched Doctor Who this weekend, sure they recorded it via the fancy + box or caught it on Iplayer, because it was a Nice day.

Don't give the haters ammunition to say that DW audience dropped because the story was intelligent and demanded more from your audience than cattle like behaviour; bare in mind these critics are generally the type of people who would rather vegetate in front of the TV than actually think about what they are watching.

On a more personal note to the woman named Eunice Ann Gree who said the programme had strayed form its roots as a family friendly programme and not just for sci fi nerds.....you're wrong. Where were you and your family during the dark days when whovians both old and my VHS generation were scrabbling for anything DW related? Where were you when Big Finish unleashed the great stories of my childhood?

You where watching eastenders and complaining it was too full of gangsters in the 90's, DW is a children's programme at heart, and my kid loved it. The reason so many of us older people love it MORE THAN YOU is because of the nostalgia factor. Moffat's DW is very much in the mold of the early stories. So you clearly need to redefine what you think DW used to be.

I have Coffee and a Doughnut....what a cliche.

2011-03-15T10:31:00.000-07:00

Hello there folks, this has been a pretty messed up week with all the chaos in Japan and such, got to love the Japanese strength of will; earthquake, tsunami then nuclear problems and they still go to work.

Please Donate to any money you have to spare to the Red Cross disaster fund.

EVENTS!

Rather than stick with my usual couple of reviews I figured I'd address something that has been bothering me about the so called comic 'event' cycle. It's worth noting that one can very easily have event sized stories in an ongoing title; see Avengers, Fantastic Four, R.E.B.E.L.S and Green Lantern if you don't believe me.

I am by no means a True Believer! I like Marvel characters, mainly due to initial exposure to the frankly awesome X-men cartoon in the 90s but I have mainly been a DC reader over my 18 years reading comics.

With that out the way I can get to my point without any call of bias.

In 2011 it is my firm belief that although both companies are putting their best feet forward with their summer event books , Fear itself and Flashpoint respectively, It is Marvel who are giving me something new. With Matt Fraction being given the reins of the Marvel Universe for 7 months, Marvel have effectively progressed, whereas DC are once again looking to Geoff Johns for their event.

Now I love Johns' work, he made the frankly B-list Green Lantern into a household name. His Flash run (both of them) are exceptionally fun reading, The man is the master of the fan wank. But as much as I like his work, I think this year I would have preferred it if DC had looked to their WEALTH of creative talent outside the safe choice of Johns.

No one on earth can tell me that writers like Gail Simone, Paul Levitz or hell Keith Giffen don't have event worthy stories to tell. I know I know Johns is writing Flash so he has to write the Flash event....true...but did we need a Flash event so soon?

Now all this may seem like whining but....if after Brightest Days conclusion we see Aquaman given his own title, then you can almost assuredly assume that Johns will be involved and as such this will also probably lead to an AQUA event down the line.

Would I enjoy this YES do I want Johns to write it....not really. I want a new voice to have purview over the DC universe next year. Tony Bedard has more than shown his worth, as far as the critics are concerned, does DC not think much?

Gail Simone however is a more obvious candidate, her work on Birds of Prey and Secret Six thsi year have shown that she has great command over a a group of characters which would do her a great service writing an event book.

If DC does not move on and try out new creative voices in large scale books then they will likely suffer a repeat of the Nick Spencer Supergirl situation where DC editorial didn't like something that wasn't to their template. Cut forwards few months Spencer's Morning Glories rules the Trade sales behind only Return of Bruce Wayne.

If I'm being honest all of this is a waste of time, next year either Morrison or Johns will head up the event book sticking to DC same old same old approach, and across the road Johnathan Hickman will likely have a hand in the overall Marvel Universe Arc; which is not a bad thing at all.

Grim week

2011-02-27T13:45:00.000-08:00

Dwayne McDuffie and Nicholas Courtney died this week. Both men have contributed so much to my childhood and geekdom experience that I felt exceptionally emotional, hence I am updating today as opposed to on a Wednesday anyways.

Two comics came out this week that dealt with death as a main theme Amazing Spiderman 655 and the so called "Final issue" of Fantastic Four 588 and as such they resonated with me the most this week.

FANTASTIC FOUR 588

I cried while reading this. I really did, which was quite shocking actually given the fluidity of comic book death. I KNOW that Johnny Storm will be back someday (safe bet is in a year) but the sheer emotion given to each scene in this mostly silent issue really struck a chord with me.

Nick Dragotta's pencils are phenomenal, especially considering he had to follow Epting on this book, he manages to show every emotion perfectly from Sue Storms shattered emotions to the unbridled rage shown by Val as she and the rest of the Future Foundation kids plot their revenge.
His work is also very Kirbyesque throughout this issue which makes this feel all the more final; a book end if you will.

I realise I haven't mentioned Hickman at all yet but what more can I say that other reviewers haven't already. The man is one of the smartest writers working in comics today, he can go from large bombastic moments like issue 587's "FLAME ON" to the quiet emotional moments seen here. I am glad to hear that he will be on the FF for a long time to come as I can't envision the book without him now; it is ridiculous how good he is at writing Val and Franklin.

AMAZING SPIDERMAN 655

I have enjoyed Dan Slott's work on ASM since he took over as sole writer a few months ago, he has injected a sense of fun into a book I haven't REALLY enjoyed since JMS was writing it (more to do with JRJR's pencils than JMS admittedly) and I have revelled in the fun loving Peter Parker Slott's given us since he gave Spidey his new job.

This is issue was different, VERY different.

Following last issues surprise death of Marla Jameson, we open with a large silent section wherein we are shown the funeral of Marla and see how Jameson is dealing with the death of his wife. These scenes disturbed me greatly as JJ is a character whom we always see yelling and screaming, to see him like this, silenced by grief, was spectacularly hard hitting.

Following the funeral we are treated to what I can only describe as the greatest pages in Spiderman history, Dan Slott's words and Marcos Martins pencils treat us to what is essentially a trip through Peters life as Spiderman; I wont go in to details as I do not wish to spoil this for anyone.

This scene alone shows how well Dan Slott knows this character, pulling random continuity from out of no where, characters that I had forgotten existed appeared here and all served a purpose in leading Spidey to a solid resolve about his future.

This strong scene was then shattered by the arrival of a new brutal villain who will no doubt put Mr Parker's new aim to the test "No body else will die", I hope so Mr Parker I really do.

Thats all for this week folks

Comic day is my favourite day

2011-02-16T12:15:00.001-08:00

I have been away from his for a long time, and many joyous things have occured. Wikileaks turned rock star, Beauty and the Beast was released on Blu Ray (awesome BTW) and comic day in the UK is now Wednesday; meaning I get my comics 5 hours before most Americans Huzzah.

So begins my return to this format to talk about all comics I have enjoyed this week let us begin.

Legion of Superheroes 10

Durlans, Durlans, DURLANS!

This issue brought to a close the ongoing Durlans assasins storyline that has dominated the series for the past few months. There was some great moments int his comic Chameleon boy versus his crazy mother was particularly enjoyable. Shape changing battles are always entertaining.

Dawnstar finally got out of her coma this week as well, having the tracker legionnaire off the board during the shape shifter story made a lot of sense but I can't deny I have missed her; whoop dawny

The only off putting thing for me was the shunting of Brainy into a leadership role, this was always a possibility given the fan vote for legion leader. Obviously Paul Levitz has plans for Mon-El that require the character out and about in space rather than leading, but this also means we won't get to see him actively lead til that storyline is complete.

That being said I voted for Polar Boy so to hell with it.

7/10

Transformers: Infestation 1 and 2 and Ongoing 14,15,16

I love Transformers, like ridiculous levels of love. I never cared much for the toys as a child but god damn it I enjoyed the cartoons and when the comics came around from various companies over the years I bought them with great gusto and joy only to be bemused and disappointed.

When IDW got the license for Transformers a while back I did not want to be disappointed again.

How wrong I am, I had decided on a whim to jump into the Infestation event from IDW as I figured hey it's their first time doing this and the idea of all these kick ass properties killing zombies appealed to me.

I enjoyed the initial Infestation opener, I was a tad confused but getting in deep is always the best way to go, and decided to buy the other comics involved.

The first tie-in was Transformers Infestation which was good.....really good, it had everything I wanted G1 designs, Galvatron and Zombies obviously.

On the strength of this issue I figure I'd give the ongoing a try, boy am I glad I did the Three issues I managed to find 14,15 and 16 sucked me in very quickly. It was very accessible thanks to the little blurb in the inside cover and the character were voiced perfectly.

I enjoyed the art style more than i though I would, it is very clearly influenced by both the G1 series and the Michael Bay trilogy designs to some extent, but both mesh fairly cohesively for a most satisfying visual experience.

Obviously I've missed quite a lot, the very fact that Megatron returning is a big thing as a fan of the 80's show was a bit strange considering I'm used to him always being there.
The threat level he posed with his new purple form was enough to allow me to get over that particular gripe however.

8/10 (average all round score)

so yeah only two reviews this week, but I'm saving a big long Ultimate comics review for post Death of Spider-man ciao!

2010-03-22T12:57:00.000-07:00

There's a lot of weird shite that turns up during a day to day basis, some of it good like Amazon running out of stock on something I pre-ordered months ago only for me to discover I could spend the same money and get two DVDs instead of the one.So now Dumbo now has Pinocchio for company; I had to look at the DVD case for that wooden fuckers name!

Some might cry out loud "No why? Blu-ray is far superior" to them I cry back "Fuck up its a cartoon anyway!" I do not understand the point in buying animated films on blu-ray not to mention animated films from the fucking 40's.

So that's one good thing that happened. the Americans finally put through their Health Care thing, seems an obvious idea to us Brits. We know all to well how well organised and exceptional government controlled health plans really.........never mind.

Google stepped up their game against Chine today by flat out refusing to censor search results, good for you google now If you'd just stop showing my tweets in your live search thing I'd be happy considering I never gave you any level of permission to do so; how is "@BrendanJD says I love toast" got anything to do with Nazis?

GMTV got in trouble for plugging some knob end's web site on their show, if you ask me OFCOM should spend more man hours removing Michelle Macmanus from our screens. How is this news that someone went on GMTV to plug something they own.........WHY THE FUCK DO YOU THINK ANYBODY GOES ON THERE!?

On a lighter note Doctor Who's back on our screen in twelve days HUZZAH now go buy Dumbo on DVD it's full of racial stereotypes and abnormal elephants and apparently a deleted scene involving the rape of Dumbo's Mother by an indecent clown!!!

The day's been odd.

2010-03-17T17:20:00.000-07:00

What a very strange day indeed, it started off with a rather annoying headache brought about by dehydration caused by my missus frighteningly scary heating and me staying up to watch "Quatermass and The Pit" as an insomniac I should cherish the moments when I am actually tired; oh an you all should go buy the aforementioned flick.

Following a quick bowl of weetabix/ weetabix like asda variant and a litre of water I felt pretty fucking perky so I put the news on to see what's been going on in the world for you see when I'm near the missus i am very rarely near a PC as she is generally quite distracting...ahem....So as you can imagine a full day away from the box or inter web meant I had quite a lot to catch up on here are three of my favourite's :)

1. Chinese skater people

A very nice fluff piece about how the Gold medal winners from the Winter Olympics for...I'm not sure what sport....it involved skates and ice which really doesn't narrow it down talking about how it felt to be a gold medal winner and about having children. All very nice except I couldn't help but feel for them given the enormous amount of forms they'll have to fill in to apply to fuck in china. They'll have to go to the main office as well seeing as they wont be able to just Google the fucking forms online.

2.Shagging on Kids TV

This, I am not afraid to tell you, made me weep. For two whole hours on two kids channels, one of which was aimed at pre-schoolers. The playboy channel aired, that's right bunny rabbit adorned tits displayed in full for little eyes to see. Oops, looks like all those parents who don't even like to mention the word "Penis" around their kids are gonna have to explain to them not only what "Clive" was doing to "Maria" but also what a Dirty Sanchez actually entails.

and finally something sad but a bit fucking stupid none the less.

3. Two kids die taking mephodrone.

I genuinely feel for the families of these guys I really do but come on if your sons take a drug that although legal is famous for being somewhat similar to amphetamines and Ecstasy a drug which has reported side-effects include headaches, palpitations, nausea, cold or blue fingers.

Blue fingers! for fuck sake if there's even the slightest chance something gives you blue fingers there's a good chance you shouldn't fucking touch it.

My main concern with this shite is simple it legality which quite frankly appalls me. I'm not part of the anti drug mob far from it. I've been an advocate for the legalisation of cannabis and to a lesser extent magic mushrooms for quite some time. So my objection to this drug isn't based on crazy rhetoric. My main concerns about mephodrone come from the fact that the government bemoans the use of certain drugs very quickly because they haven't worked out a system to tax them yet; methodrone sells for a high price and with that comes high tax.

these guys apparently according to reports were looking for a legal high, that was it. they felt that because this drug was legal they would be safe. Obviously this wasn't the case. The rebel rouser in me wonders had our government given a shred of thought to banning harmful drugs instead of targeting the ones that can be beneficial to us all then maybe these poor fuckers wouldn't have had such easy access to this white powdery pish.

Interesting or "utter shite"?

2010-03-15T15:15:00.000-07:00

Hello all, a momentous achievement for the academic in me as I have finally reached the media law section of my college course. It's going to be interesting to get into the murky underbelly of libel cases and what not.

My knowledge of this has been confined to hearsay for the most part and I'm looking forward to learning a bit more. Unfortunately as with all academic books the best ones are twenty quid; books on media law are no exceptionn.

This post begins the start of a twice-weekly segment I hope will be both informative and entertaining, quite simply I'm going to scour the Internet and newspapers for any news stories I feel warrant your attention and or any news stories I feel are completely pointless and a waste of time and effort for all involved.

Woman wants to be world's fattest woman.

This is the story of Donna Simpson(42) from New jersey U.S who is looking to break the world record . Already tipping the scales at 43 st Donna hopes to annihilate said scales by increasing her mass to an impressive/vile 71st.

As you can imagine I came across this article in The Daily Mail which meant the story was mostly quotation and oddly charming pictures of the gargantuan lady with her little girl who thankfully shows no signs of wanting to follow in her mothers deep footsteps. The admittedly cheerful woman was very proud to inform the newspaper that she had to consume 12,000 calories a day in order to increase her size. I'm all for woman actually eating, it makes such a change from the ones we see in the media on a regular basis whose diet consists of toothpaste and water but 12,000 calories is insane. There's probably less calories in a whole cow.

Fat lady=utter shite.

Marion Cotillard is a knight!

The gender issues aside this is made me smile, Cotillard is one of the most talented actresses in recent year's with stunning performances in La Vie En rose and a remarkably sensuous but understated role as Billie Frechette in Michael Mann's Public Enemies and it seems her countrymen (there's the gender thign again) agree as she was awarded one of Frances highest cultural honours at a ceremony in gay Paris. Now any DVD's of her films released in france will no longer just have "ziz seely Osceer" legend they shall bear the proud proclamation that she is a knight in the Order of the Arts and Letter. Huzzah.

Interesting!

Comic Reviews

2010-03-13T04:15:00.000-08:00

hello all I've been notably absent from posting for a while now, suffice to say life has overwhelmed me with the prospect of a new home,a four year old and making a film so apologies all round.

This is something I plan on making a weekly thing, I spend so much time reading comics and wanting to talk about them to folks, who for the most part don't care as much as I think they should, that I decided to hell with it this sort of opinion based nonsense is what the Internet is for; let us proceed.

Batman & Robin #10

Written by Grant Morrison. Pencils by Andy Clarke.

Well now things are getting interesting, the fro tn cover of this proudly proclaims that "The return of Bruce Wayne" begins in this issue, and oddly enough this isn't just DC marketing at it's finest, it is actually true.

The issue opens with a wonderful character moment for Damian Wayne whom I have come through a love/hate relationship with to a point were I now believe he is probably the greatest edition to Batman's mythos since Robin.

The bulk of the issue is basically a scavenger hunt with Dick and Damian scouring through Wayne Manor finding clues supposedly left By Bruce Wayne, who at this very moment is jumping through time Ala Sam Beckett.

Although the hunt is interesting I can't help but think Wouldn't Bruce have noticed these things? Oh well suspension of disbelief. I find myself enamoured by Oberon Sexton the self proclaimed "Gravedigger" who is very much interested in Batman. I am really glad that Morrison didn't make this guy a villain because that would have been too obvious given the guys cryptic appearance.

THE ART IN THIS ISSUE IS GORGEOUS!!!!

Sorry had to get that off my chest. It really is stunning Andy Clarke has been known to me for some time, given my love for his work in the wonderful R.E.B.E.L.S and I'm really glad that his work will be getting showcased to a wider audience.

I don't like star based or numerical ratings so just go buy this already.

How do avoid killing yourself over this shite!

2010-02-02T11:40:00.000-08:00

Written in a retrospective narrative style for dramatic effect.

It’s January 12th 2009 and I’m sitting down in my nice comfy chair with a bowl of popcorn and a nice big pint glass full of that innocent smoothie crap; not quite yoghurt not quite juice but nice all the same. I’m about to witness what I hope will be one of the greatest moments in political buggery since Clinton was impeached.

The Iraq inquiry has been the world cup of political/legal enquiries in that the first few meetings have been somewhat uneventful, not much happened ,no one scored and you turned the t v over to watch re-runs of “Only Fools and Horses” on Dave just to stop yourself realising you just wasted ten hours of your life.

The committee members even sound like the offensive line of winning England football team. Chilcot, Freedman, Gilbert, Lyne and Prashar! However seeing as all of them amount to four sirs and a baroness, they’re more likely to be winning the ashes than the world cup.

Then we get to the midway point. A moment so monumental it is almost akin the day France plays Italy during the semi’s, moments like this only come along once every thirty years and when they do you better believe I am front row and centre.

Alistair Campbell is not a nice man; spawn of a Scottish veterinary surgeon and allegedly conceived under some sort of pagan ritual involving goat’s blood, a pentagram and scented candles he powered his way through alcoholism and depression, (ironically thinking about him makes me both depressed and in dire need of a drink) to becoming political editor at the Daily Mail which is where he created ties with a fairly young and pre-war mongering Tony Blair.

As you can imagine Mr Darling used his close ties with Mr Blair to secure himself a job as Tony’s official “Spokesperson” with his day to day duties generally consisting of twisting the truth about the former Prime minister to the point that it resembles the truth almost as much as a cat resembles a giraffe.

Alistair Campbell was directly involved in the release of the biggest lie in politics since Nixon said he wasn’t a crook. The “September dossier” was a document published by the British government on 24 September 2002 on the same day of a recall of Parliament to discuss the contents of the document.

The paper was part of a campaign by the government to bolster support for the 2003 invasion of Iraq. It contained a number of allegations according to which Iraq possessed Weapons of Mass Destruction (WMD), including chemical weapons and biological weapons. The Dossier even alleged that Iraq had reconstituted its nuclear weapons programme. All of which turned out to be complete and utter bollocks, Saddam didn’t have any WMD’s to speak of and hadn’t killed a Kurd in quite some time.

Thus we find ourselves at the inquiry with Mr Campbell ready to be tore down and scrutinised beyond belie. It almost felt like I was watching an episode of gladiators from 1992. Alistair Ready! The Iraq Inquiry Ready! The whistle blows, I tense up, I spill my pint glass and he does all the work for them to be honest. He defended every word of a his dossier which is known to be a fabrication and made a point in saying that Britain’s should be proud for the role we took in killing and destroying the homes of thousands of innocent children. Anyone who knows Campbell’s back-story is unlikely to be phased or shocked by this stance, its been clear he is evil since 1997 so that no big revelation but the swift reveal that former PM Tony Blair had assured then President George W Bush that Britain would aid the war in Iraq before the existence of WMD’s had even been verified got me all excited for the Magnum opus of this inquiry. Tony Blair.

Tony Blair entered the inquiry with his usual air of pompous self assurance sat down and defended himself vehemently. I don’t know what I was expecting but this certainly was not it. Blair answered every question without flinching; he regretted only that his government didn’t douse the media flame regarding what WMD’s Iraq may or didn’t have.

For what was meant to be a monumental moment of truth, it turned out to be another self masturbatory session from Blair as the answers he gave seemed so well prepared as to suggest that he had been properly prepped beforehand. I don’t understand this logic at all. If someone goes to court for perjury, lying, like Blair lied they are not told what they are going to be asked. They are not escorted into their trial with reverence.

This was never a trial for Tony Blair, which is a shame, because it should have been. It probably would have been had Saddam’s forces beat us in Iraq. I’m not going to defend Saddam Hussein he was exactly Mr Congeniality, but to make something up just to deal with him is surely illegal? It’s definitely immoral.

If our good friends in the USA wanted to get him that badly I’m sure they could have found something illegal on the international level that we could have charged him with. History has proven at least once that if there is a dangerous individual you need gone then do an Al Capone and screw them over the tax. The sins of Saddam were many and certainly reason enough to drag him to Geneva without making up imaginary weapons.

The sad thing in all of this hubbub and inquiry style duelling is that something even more worrisome and heinous has gone unreported en mass in Britain and in the United States. Lawyers are reprehensible at the best of time but when they twist the law so that they’re lord and masters can justify torture as a legally viable option, I get beyond nauseous.

Bush administration lawyers who drafted legal theories that led to the brutal water boarding of terrorism suspects, many of whom it has been proven were innocent showed poor judgment but won't face sanctions for professional misconduct, according to a published report.

These allegedly demon like minions of the underworld made it possible for an admittedly slow George W Bush to justify torture in the inaccurate “War on Terror” are not going to be held accountable in any way for what seems to be the “No-No” of choice for everyone the past ten years telling lies.

It’d be nice if one day if we could find a politician or a lawyer or anyone with power who would tell us the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth; Unlikely but I can always watch football to distract me from how hopeless it all seems.

Good Morning Starshine the says "Is that asshole crazy!?"

2009-09-07T23:37:00.000-07:00

Good morning world just thought I'd drop a quick line on how fucking great I feel this morning. Usually at this time my eyes are in agony due to under sleeping,my legs are still asleep and I feel like I'm gonna puke.

Not today as I managed to get a decent sleep which is somewhat odd for me.

Anyway first things first. After being berated by my fellow class mates regarding me not yet seeing "Inglorious Basterds" I can now say I have seen it, It was amazing and I loved it.

It hasn't quite pipped "Public Enemies" off my top spot for 2009 but when Blu ray time comes I'll know which one holds up over time as I'll likely watch them over and over and over and over and you get the idea.

Looks like T Mobile and orange will be merging together so we'll be getting shite customer service,high bills and free cinema tickets...smashing.

In case anyone didn't notice Disney bought Marvel Comics.........I should be panicky and nervous given my geeky nature but fuck it. If i get me a Pixar Fantastic Four movie I'm happy.

Does anyone else LOVE it when the news corporations make things seem more sinister than they actually are? Have a look at the link
http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/scotland/highlands_and_islands/8243040.stm

Stop talking about it as though it's a terrorist.

In other 'news' we've got an attempt at being Eco friendly from IRN BRU where they have donated a number of glass bottles to help some stupid wains make a eco friendly chandelier.

OK first things first "AAAAWWWWWWW" and secondly someone slap these fucking arsehole kids and tell them to get back to work.

and finally the speaker for the house John Bercow has actually hired a spokesperson/lobbyist cunt making him the first to do so. Why is this important? It's like the referee on an Celtic rangers football game wearing that god awful green neon strip;during play.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eNp7PrruPDA

self assesment insanity return.

2009-08-02T12:00:00.000-07:00

So I've been fairly inattentive to this spewing,writhing,inanimate condensed and ultimately biased summing up of my life that is referred to as a blog.

Truth be told I've had very little of what I would call "Interesting" things happen to me the past three weeks;Uneventful is an ugly yet accurate description.

The past two days however I have made some headway in a number of areas that I would like to share; whether you care at all is entirely up to your own selfish preferences.

Don't worry I ain't judging I am also very selfish.

NEW SCREENPLAY

I write a fair amount of scripts. mostly little 5 minute pieces which are essentially a way to show what the fuck the inside of my head looks like in a visual medium;It's a dark and ultimately evil place depending on your own moral stances. If like me you hate politicians but love Bunnies you will be seeking out the vacancy sign with your ever glowing eyes.

If not your probably best seeking out a travel lodge.

HOWEVER the past week I have been quietly formulating something that is as personal as my other stuff yet on an emotional level as opposed to me actively thinking, so I'm excited by it which doesn't happen all the time;.

It's nice to care.

I have also recently discovered via the wonderful world of http://www.disinfo.com a comedian who had me crying with laughter.I don't often leak during comedy so I thought I'd share

The By-line and the News

2009-07-07T04:06:00.000-07:00

Every writer everywhere writes for a number of reasons. The scriptwriter writes so that his story can be transferred from page to screen;earning him/her a tidy profit in the process.

The novelists writes for hours on end in the hope that millions of people will read their book.

And the bible people continually re edit their work.......................burn

But the journalist. They write for the by-line.

It's a magical thing a by-line, you get all excited seeing your name in print next to something you wrote;it's not quite as great as sex but it's certainly in the top tier of "Mazin" moments.

I got a magazine through the door that some of the college students from the year above me did last year. We the lowly HNC lot where asked to take a couple of hours of the day and write about what we would be doing or indeed what these hours mean to us.

Easy enough and fairly fun to write happy I was to see that both my chosen hours as well as everyone else's where included in the magazine complete with a by-line. I'm not a journalist by any stretch of the imagination but it's still quite nice to see my name in print.

The hell man why cant i get more than 5 minutes of news about the Chinese riots or the review into our defence policies without it being shifted into a Michael Jackson story?

Come on guys you are the BBC you are not E entertainment, It's a sad fucking day when the only place I can hear a good ten minutes about china are on Fox News;albeit a racist and bigoted version but still.

I hope that when I die they televise my memorial service to millions of people, I hope they give out tickets like I'm some fairground ride.

Did you know you can see this memorial service on the following channels.

BBC TWO

BBC News Channel

BBC HD

Sky News

Sky Arts 1

NTV

The service will also be streamed live on the BBC News website

Streamed online? in the name of christ.

Its amazing what we let stars away with if they come out with good music.

Gary glitter releases terrible fucking music, fucks a minor, we despise him for it.

Michael Jackson releases Thriller.

"Hey Michael man you can fuck as many kids as you like because this album is tight."

No.....Just....no.

oh and FYI spell checker christ does not get spelled with a capital it wasn't his surname.

Fun

2009-07-03T02:48:00.000-07:00

So I've not kept this up to date last few days, it's been nice out and I've had shit to do so there!

Went to the Doctor Who exhibition with my daughter and Alisha today wasn't bad was somewhat intimidating being that close to a Dalek to be honest;I was moderately frightened. The wee one did alright she got a hell of a fright when the animatronics and sound effects kicked in at the Cybermen bit and the Dalek bit so was funny.

I really have fuck all to complain about...........oh wait the SLC

The student loan arseholes I recently changed my bank account therefore my details changed, now upon receiving my new account number etc I called both SAAS and the SLC to change my details so that I would get my money in that account rather than the crap card.

SAAS quickly changed my account over the phone, no fuss and the person was fairly cheery; all's well there.

Now the SLC I called them up right after SAAS I had to speak to three different operators because the machines where a bit knackered which meant I had to reiterate all my information three times.

Now the last guy told me that my details where changed and I had nothing to worry about.

fast forward 3 weeks and i get a letter through the door asking me to confirm my details. The form had my old account details on it and according to the date it was sent the day I phoned the bastards.

So rather than just admit they didn't know how to change my details and had to send me a letter the SLC folk lied so that I didn't go off on one over the phone.

So now I have to spend a further 30 odd pence to get a first class stamp and send information I had already given three times before; I wanted a packet of chewing gum.......arseholes!!

Fred Savage scares me.

2009-06-27T14:41:00.000-07:00

I met up with an old friend recently, well he's not old but you know what I mean. Twas fun went to see "Red Cliff" not a bad flick as historical war epics goes it was definitely one of the best I've seen in a while.

I was however extremely surprised by one aspect of the film more than anything; the audience.

The general rabble in Cineworld consisted of a more diverse mix of people than I had previously expected. On one side of the spectrum you had myself and Martin (That's the friend) self confessed geeks and movie snobs who generally become imperialistic about our movie choices.( We chose the subtitled movie over "The Hangover" for fuck sake. )

However on the other side of The far reaching spectrum you had the most unassuming old couple ever. now upon first glance I groaned I thought i was about to endure an "Empire cinemas" type of trial were they would talk and eat biscuits and just annoy the fuck out of me in general.....not a fucking peep out of them.way to go for fighting the stereotype you old fuckers ;I can only assume they still fuck.......though it probably create the same noise as sanding the inside of a gas oven.

We then had the obvious scene kids who where there just for the sake of looking interesting and appearing intellectual when their friends asked them what they went to see.

Scene kid 1
What did you go see Brian?

Scene Kid 2
Oh i went and seen a really artsy Asian film called Red Cliff.It was an engaging experience.

Scene Kid 1
How modern of you lets go get a frozen coffee because we're so counter culture.

CUNTS!!!!

Then we had the ever delightful collective of couples who don't really bother me unless their fucking in the back seats to be Honest.

All of this pish generally adds up to me being quite happy than more people than the aforementioned movie snobs are enjoying the joys of a proper John Woo movie; Face/off does not count.

It would have been nice if they had released the full length flick though rather than a diluted version of only 2 and a 1/2 hours.

I wanted four hours of Mandarin speaking crazy fucks killing each other with arrows I need stability in my life!!!

Britain's a bit shit in that respect.

If you have read this all the way through just to discover why I am scared of Fred Savage then you are a twisted individual.......you disgust me.

Fathers Day

2009-06-21T14:51:00.000-07:00

I fucking love today. It's better than my birthday or Christmas;Doesn't make sense Jesus wasn't born in December. Anyway. Fathers day is extra special because you really appreciate the fact that you are in fact a Dad and responsible for a whole other life. It's pretty fucking mind boggling when you sit and consider the whole thing.

The best bit about the whole shebang isn't my present, which equalled a pretty fucking awesome razor;I wanted something practical. Nor is it the nice dinner I had via the future mother-in-law; note, bread sauce goes with anything.....even bread.
Its not even the fact that I don't need to buy a gift;given the lack of a father on my side of things.

The best thing is the fact that I'm always going to have the wee midget around to tell me off when I'm being a dick,watch cartoons with me and generally think I'm great...which is completely untrue as i am a bit of an arse from time to time but still it's nice to be loved.

Recommended Viewing: Martina Cole's The Take: really good

Does anyone notice the resemblance? Mars are arses!

2009-06-14T11:26:00.000-07:00

Someone needs to sort the Mars company out I shit you not. Not only have they single handily made a generation of children fat. They've also found new ways to fuck up my day.

Fun size bags of chocolate bars come in packs of 24 and up and are filled with all sorts of chocolate bars from aero to snickers.

There is no such thing as fun size. The proportions of said chocolate bar only become fun if they are bigger than average......not smaller. so you can imagine that to my horror I have discovered that every "Fun" sized confection is in fact less than half the size of a regular sweet.

This causes a few problems.

1) They are fucking tiny and do not remotely quench the intolerable need for sugar I occasionally suffer.

2) Stupid fuck wit weight watchers assume that because they are small then its fine to munch a fun size snack; usually yes but not when you eat the bag.

3)The total lack of context these cunts at mars shell out; smaller bars equal annoyance and frustration not joy.

They should call these fucking things "Irritating bag containing smaller versions of the sweet you really want".

I enjoy writing, the process is fun and envigorating. Re writing is especially rewarding as it is only upon second glance does one spot the dodgy bit of dialogue or come up with a better word for spacious; not bad for what is meant to be work.

Bastarding Weins

2009-06-09T23:25:00.000-07:00

Today My mums flat (where i stay due to lack of money and the place is comfortable) was flooded for the third time not by torrential rain now plumbing issues but by two children who should given the time be up dressed and in nursery.

They decided to flood out their bath and therefore flood our bathroom. Now I'm a patient guy, I have a kid and know they get up to stuff but when its the third time.....Its the mothers fault.

Case in point my mum went upstairs to inform the woman that the toilet was flooded...again... and the lazy cow was still in bed, her answer to my mums knock was "Whit is it?" (she's an alliterate bam) my mother pointed out the flooded hallway had some words then left.

Here's the thing, My daughter stays with her mother most of the time and my fiancee is 18 going on 19 and she by this time in the morning I guarantee you is up, dressed and has the wee one up and dressed ready fro nursery.

So my point is all these people who complain about teenage parents.......we're doing a better job than the 28 year old up the stairs; the lazy ,inconsiderate cow.

Bliss

2009-06-09T09:29:00.000-07:00

Just a quick one for now, I'm busy writing so I cant go on for too long.

Many wondered what would happen when the racist pond scum known as Nick Griffin had his little press conference outside parliament today. He must have been prepared for some backlash from the right minded people of London. Yet I don't think he quite expected what he got.
http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/uk_politics/8091605.stm

Applause and congratulations to whichever members of "Unite Against Fascism" got the bastard with the eggs; I salute your aim both politically and in relation to hand eye coordination.

This is just the first step, everyone who can must continue to do their part to drown these fuckers out. The fact is we cant kick them out that would make us the fascists we can however make it clear that we disagree with them fervently.

As the old adage goes "To bake a cake you need to break a few eggs" all over a fat Nazi. Toodles

http://www.uaf.org.uk/

College= free money

2009-06-08T06:44:00.000-07:00

I neglected to mention the joyous news i received the other day. Apparently if I do a mock pitch for my Graded unit (Graded bit of my college course) the college will pay me £10.

Now all you "workers" out there may be crying out loud at both at the small fee and your manic depressive existence as a call centre worker but hear me out.

I am a student. Not only that I am a student that wants to be a writer. In essence I'm going from one unsure position to the other......so a tenner is generally a large amount of currency.

Now the big question is, What in the name of the bearded cunt do I spend this free money on?

Here are a few of my musings regarding this conundrum.

1.Train fares .........boring as fuck.

2. Food........my mum feeds me.

or 3. Pussy beer (Non-alcoholic)

4. Invest it..............in the shite market.

I'm thinking about this way too much.

I love browsing the BBC news website. You never know what comedy gold your likely to come across.

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/england/8089498.stm

It's not sick to laugh at a blind man.........its just frowned upon.

Fuck....Just....fuck

2009-06-08T02:51:00.000-07:00

What the hell is wrong with English people?

Well that's unfair. What the hell is wrong with Lincolnshire. In the name of god people your supposed to be relaxed carefree farmer folk who fuck their sisters not the face of National socialism for Britain.

You do realise you voted the biggest pair of Nazi tits into Europe you possibly could right?
I don't know what you all think about immigration and quite frankly I don't give a flying fuck at the end of the day, when we get down to the nitty gritty of the whole fucking affair you have two options.

You can hire John Smith, British citizen,32,plumber,lazy,overpriced,cowboy,robbing,bastard arsehole who fucks off before the jobs finished

OR

You hire Niko who'll do your plumbing for £5 an hour and will do your kitchen while he's there.

Enoch Powell was a racist, Adolf Hitler was a Fascist and Nick Griffin is a congealed mix of both.

I can taste vomit again.........

Nursery Rhymes,Neil gaiman and Necrophelia

2009-06-05T15:33:00.000-07:00

Nursery rhymes are fucking horrible things. They are thinly disguised as moral tales so that they can be taught to young children.

But whats the point Ring around the roses? "Don't get the plague or you ll die!". Lovely

With this in mind i thought it be creepy to use a protagonist of a nursery rhymes name for my children's books villain. There is not an awful lot of good ones that can come across as creepy in the right context; which is frankly a fucking pain.

After several hours of headaches and a feeling that I'd never get to fill in the blank space for the cunts name I went with "Jack be Nimble"; I don't know why but given that he likes to eat children I found it sufficiently creepy for my needs.

The only good thing about being awake and knowing there is little chance of sleep tonight is I can actually get around to listening my audio book of "Coraline" as read by the author.

after watching a video of Mr Gaiman talk about buttons and somehow make me feel as though someone was about to jump out from behind me and tear my eyes out. I had an urge to listen to it. However this plight has been hampered by a number of truly piss poor obstructions.

1. I had to write a fucking running order for a show I did fucking months ago for radio. HOW THE FUCK AM I MEANT TO REMEMBER ANYTHING I DIDN'T TAKE NOTES ON!!!!.

So i just made the bastarding thing up and saved it in the deepest most remote arsehole folder I have; "Complete and utter shite"

2. The previously mentioned cunt of a name quest.

3.I had to guess how long burgers would take in the George Foreman because unfortunately George has been punched upside his skull that many times he doesn't think that including a rough fucking guide inside his under £40 models is needed. YOU ARE A FASCIST PIG AND I HOPE YOU GET AIDS!!!

Admittedly the burgers where great.

I am aware that all of this doesn't amount to much of an entry but in all honest I couldn't give a fuck less I'm too tired and stressed and all i want to do now is go to bed and wake up tomorrow knowing I don't need to organise my existence around college......at least not til Sunday night.

Voting,Big Brother and the kids book

2009-06-04T14:48:00.000-07:00

This will officially be my first post on this so welcome.

I Got around to voting today, the European elections are not nearly as exciting as the general kind; there's less bitching involved. But it does give one a sense of pride and dignity in knowing that even though I voted for a bunch of arseholes. The choice was really limited to arseholes in the first place.

People don't vote out of principle now we just vote for the guy we can't fucking stand the least. It's a sham. I mean look at the complete state of our government. We've got an incompetent prick on one side, a posh arse jockey on the blue and the rest haven't a chance in hell of winning anything so fuck them.......I voted Green simply because I wanted to feel good about myself.

what the hell man, Channel four used to be the place for cutting edge television. Disinformation aired on it for Christs sake. Yet once again we find ourselves subject to an obscene number of hours of uninteresting people in an uninteresting house.

Just because you make it "International" does not make it suddenly good. The only thing that correlated well was dedicating it to jade goody seeing as your determined to beat both those dead horses into the fucking dust; YOU ARE NOT OWNED BY THE FUCKING SUN!!!

On a lighter and less abusive note I began writing a kids book. I've basically become bored of writing scripts at the moment. The formatting makes me feel like Winston Smith on a good day. So i felt that diving into some prose would be good for the soul.

I was right and the first half of chapter ones pretty fucking decent considering my fragile disposition at the moment.

Recommended Reading: The Graveyard Book by Neil Gaiman.